¿Quién es Quién? Tuesday 2/9/16 #1

Happy-go-lucky Perico goes shopping for a necklace for his mom and tries to flirt his way (unsuccessfully) into a discount.

Stick-in-the mud Leonardo is way overdressed for his own bachelor party and having zero fun. He actually wipes off the rim of his whiskey glass with a napkin before drinking out of it.

Paloma is working late at the flower shop while her son “Cachito” sleeps. Her brother Eugenio comes by to chide her for working so late and carry Cachito home while she works on a special arrangement for a party.

Doña Sara watches her stories. She pilfers some corn chips that Inés puts on the table. It’s frijoles for dinner again, since the piñata shop didn’t make a single sale this week. Sara complains about the predictability of the menu, but ni modo, money’s tight and frijoles are cheap.

Leonardo would love to leave the party, but his stepbrother Ignacio whines about how he went to all the trouble of throwing him this party he’s not enjoying. Leo is more concerned with needing to be at work early tomorrow and set a good example for his employees.

Their conversation is interrupted by a mystery woman in a silver dress who can’t keep her eyes off Leo. Vicky Cristina introduces herself…she finally remembered where she knows him from! The Fiesta at the Mercado de la Raza! She loved his singing! She’s even got a photo of him in his mariachi traje! Leo is not amused. Shocker. She shows him “his” card–Pedro Pérez González, Piñata Industry and Entertainment Entrepreneur, Mercado de la Raza #37.

Said entrepreneur is entertaining a crowd at a bar with a balada that includes references to Facebook and Whatsapp. From the crowd, a woman shouts that he can tell her what she’s going to die of, as long as he does it with that mouth. I’m imagining the possibilities of Eugenio Siller being in every doctor’s office to be the one to deliver bad news. “Perdón, señora, but we have the x-rays back and the bone is definitely broken….” The mood is broken by sub-par trumpet playing. Literal tomatoes are thrown and we learn that sombreros make an excellent shield against flying produce.

Vicky Cristina thinks Leo is just being shy, but Leo thinks someone paid her to play a practical joke on him. When she gets offended and wants to leave, he apologizes and asks her to send him any other pictures she has. Ignacio comes to tell him the cops are looking for him.

Officer Naughty is here to arrest him for public indecency. Leo does his best to look unamused, but there’s just the slightest smirk on his face.

Perico busts up the tomato tossing by starting to sing Silent Night, but one big dude won’t let up and chaos ensues again, tomato-less this time. Perico and los mariachis make a run for it, aided by the screaming brunette, aka defender of Perico.

At Leo’s house, Humberto, Leo’s dad, has just come home and found Nora, the housekeeper, waiting up for Leo. She’s noticed Leonardo doesn’t seem enthusiastic about getting married, plus the doctor has him on medication for stress. She wants Humberto to talk to him–and not about business. She calls the pair of them stubborn and proud. She wishes they would put aside the past.

Yesenia comes home with a stack of newspapers, complaining about how bleak their economic prospects seem and talking about another vendor who’s going to close up shop. Sara quips about things getting hard–you go, dirty grandma! Pedro and Jonathan come in looking all disheveled and beat and try to shrug off what happened.

Leonardo has reached his limit and throws all the “guests” out of his house. Officer Naughty is waiting in his bedroom with champagne. He’s a little tempted, but not enough. She has to resort to doping his champagne and pouting, then insisting he toast with her to “faithful men.” Pro tip: when someone won’t take “no” for an answer and you’re going to agree to “just one drink,” pour it yourself from a container you open and don’t let the glass out of your sight. Safety first.

Paloma is back at home but still working. She picks up her son’s toys from all around the living room and answers the door to Yesenia. Yesenia shares the story about Perico getting into a fight, so Paloma offers to go over with a first aid kit if Yesenia will stay there and keep an eye out for Cachito. Yesenia goes up in my estimation when she starts picking up toys. When Cachito emerges from his room to get the gossip, she encourages him to do the same.

Leo stumbles into bed, feeling terrible, and then passes out. I suddenly wonder what prescription the doctor has him on for his “stress.” Officer Naughty sets up a camera and sexually assaults Leo for posterity.

Inés scolds Jonathan and Pedro for fighting while Paloma works on cleaning up Pedro. Jonathan and Inés share significant glances. When Jonathan and Paloma leave, Sara starts in on Pedro for not dating that girl already! Pedro swears she’s the one who won’t give him the time of day. Sara counters that it’s because he’s such a skirt-chaser.

Humberto is in bed, reading, when Fabiola comes home. She blames her lateness on all the work she’s doing for the upcoming wedding. Then she strips down to her skivvies and changes the subject.

Yesenia is sorting newspapers while Sara and Pedro watch a show where someone is explaining that they’ve heard cases of one twin feeling what the other twin is feeling…. Pedro gets up to put his dishes in the sink and notices a magazine in the stack with Fernanda on the cover as Executive of the Year. He admires her…elegance…intelligence…success…curves like a guitar. Yesenia and Sara laugh at him for thinking he’d have a chance with a woman like that.

Officer Naughty is finally off-duty and leaves Leonardo sleeping. Or comatose. Who knows.

Pedro has a fantasy about the picture of Fernanda being missing from the cover…because she enters his room in a could of smoke and flimsy lingerie to have her wicked way with him. He rolls right off his bed and wakes up just when things are getting good. Inés comes in to tell him to get a move on, but what really drags him out of bed is when she says she needs to get herself another job, cleaning houses with a friend. Pedro insists things are going to change. He’s going to win a TV singing contest and they’ll be swimming in money. Oh, she’s sure of it, but in the meantime–everybody needs to work! Pedro hurriedly starts throwing clothes on.

At the breakfast table, a cheeky young miss peruses social media on her cell phone and calls Humberto “Bert.” When Fabiola comes in, complaining about how late she slept and how tired she is, said young miss, Connie, gives her lip about how exhausting it must be to give orders to people over the phone while drinking mimosas with the wedding planner. When Connie leaves, Fabiola starts in on Humberto about giving Ignacio more responsibility in the company, now that Leonardo will be getting married.

Leonardo is already in the office. His secretary Ivonne comes in with something for his headache. Once again, Leo wipes off the rim of his glass. She purchased a gift on his behalf and he doesn’t even bother opening the little red box–he trusts her taste. She asks about the meeting with the Spanish company, which is supposed to be happening during his honeymoon, but hell if he’s going to let that stop him–it’s an important meeting! I can practically hear Ivonne rolling her eyes as she leaves his office. Leo is distracted by an email from Vicky Cristina from the party, with pictures of “him” in his mariachi traje. He thinks there are too many for them to be fake.

Pedro comes running downstairs, dressed simply in jeans and a white button-down shirt. There’s intrigue afoot and Sara, Pedro, Yesenia, and Paloma are all in on it. It’s Sara’s job to make sure Inés doesn’t go out job-hunting today. When Ines comes downstairs, Sara fakes a mysterious malady that includes general body pain and dizziness, but hey, no worries, if she thinks she’s dying, she’ll call 911.

At the Mercado, Pedro’s eyes are magnetically drawn to every woman, and they are not immune to his charms either. He reminds several people about the party later. Before he can open his stall, his landlord hassles him for money. Pedro points out that it’s not the end of the month yet, and he’s NOT invited to the party.

Leonardo’s curiosity wins out. He leaves the office in his dark suit jacket, dark jeans, white button-down shirt, and no tie. Before he can get in his car, Ignacio pulls up, tries to invite himself along, and then makes some noise about Leo not seeming very enthusiastic about getting married. Leo won’t even dignify the questions with an answer and drives off. Ignacio immediately calls someone about an “urgent job.”

At the Mercado, party preparations continue. It seems everyone has chipped in a little bit because they all love Inés. The brunette from the bar last night, Cocó, brags about Inés being her future suegra. Paloma is taken aback, and Yesenia teases her about having a thing for Pedro, but Paloma insists that Cachito is the only man in her life.

Pedro shows Termi the light blue box with his present for Inés.

A couple of guys in an SUV check Leonardo out and compare him to a picture on one of their cell phones.

Inés pushes Sara, in her wheelchair, through the mercado as Sara says she couldn’t possibly have sent Inés down here with a list! She’s fine for other stuff, but Sara needs to pick up herbs herself. As the mariachis start up with Las Mañanitas, Inés’ scolding dies away, Sara grins, and Inés starts hugging her family…and Paloma…and Jonathan.

At Casa Fuentemayor, wedding prep is underway and Basilio nearly tumbles into the pool trying to carry three boxes of booze at once!

Cocó leads a slightly awkward cheer for Inés. As the party gets into full swing, Inés scolds the kids for spending money on a party for her when they’re broke.

Leonardo keeps driving his little black convertible sports car and takes a call from his dad–everyone’s there, ready for the wedding, and where is he?! Leo says he’ll be there in an hour. He keeps cruising down the street until he sees a sign for…Mercado de la Raza.

Party. Pictures. Sara claims her miraculous recovery is due to the promise of cake. As Pedro takes a picture of them, Jonathan whispers to Inés to meet him later at his stall…he has something to say to her.

Leonardo leaves his wallet in the car and goes into the mercado, carrying his jacket.

Officer Naughty complains about having to drug Leo the night before and gives Ignacio a USB drive in exchange for some cash. He previews the video and thinks it looks good. I think it looks like a the guy in the video is either passed out or the world’s most apathetic lover, but, ni modo. Officer Naughty leaves and Ignacio calls “mi amor” to tell them he has a surprise for them.

Party. Everyone’s distracted. Inés tries to get away, but someone greets her enthusiastically and impedes her progress. It’s only for a few seconds, though, and then she continues on her merry way, into the back of Jonathan’s stall. He gives her a bracelet with red stones and if it was a little iffy before, we can now tell that these two clearly have a relationship. This is the second show in a row where I’ve seen Laura Flores cast as the older woman a younger man finds irresistible, and to that I say…you go, mujer!

Perico starts looking for Inés and Cocó helpfully tells him she thinks Inés was heading for Jonathan’s stall. But she wants to dance, and bought her ice-cream-cone-themed outfit especially for him. I think he’s worried about potential brain freeze and foists her off on Termi…or foists Termi off on her, whichever.

Inés and Jonathan snog.

Pedro starts to enter the back of Jonathan’s stall.

Leonardo notices three buff bald guys in suits looking for him and knees one in the groin to get away.

Inés and Jonathon’s snogging is interrupted by an angry Perico who accuses Jonathan of taking advantage of his mother and betraying him. He runs out in anger and collides with Leonardo. They stare at each other in shock. Leo mumbles that he’s got to get to the cops–some guys are trying to kidnap him. He takes off and Perico runs after him. Just as he’s leaving the mercado, Leo runs into the side of a moving pickup truck and passes out. Perico’s a bit freaked out to see this guy who looks just like him lying there.

A bride dresses for her wedding. Including a corset that I note comes nearly up to her shoulder blades.

Perico tries to rouse Leonardo, and then frantically starts looking for his ID. Just as he turns Leo over, the buff bald guys grab Perico and haul him into the SUV. Inés, Jonathan, and Paloma come running up and panic when they see Leo lying there.

Humberto and Fabiola schmooze as Humberto frets over where Leo is and Fabiola insists that he needs a good long vacation.

Leonardo is wheeled into the hospital and Pedro’s family is left outside the exam room doors to wait for news.

Fabiola sees the bride, dressed in a gown with a T-back that dips far enough below her shoulder blades that we now know the previous “getting ready” shots were completely gratuitous. Though, kudos to the costume department for those super-sheer thigh-highs, because I know I’d snag those suckers just taking them out of the package.

The black SUV and Leonardo’s convertible pull up outside the Fuentemayor house and a thoroughly confused Pedro is hustled inside by Ignacio.

Connie walks around with a handheld video camera, narrating about her stepbrother’s stupid wedding, and trying to avoid a scolding for not wearing the dress her mother bought for her. Fabiola is distracted from her scolding by Basilio, announcing that Leonardo has arrived.

The doctor tells Pedro’s family that they still need to do a few more tests, but “Pedro” is looking good so far. And he’s awake, so they can go in to see him. Jonathan lets Inés and Paloma go in without him.

Leonardo wakes up and is descended upon by Paloma and Inés. He doesn’t recognize them. And why are they calling him Perico? He’s not that lady’s son, he’s…well, actually, he has no idea. And he doesn’t know where he is or why he can’t remember anything.

Ignacio shepherds Pedro right past the musicians, which is confusing to Pedro because he’s operating under the assumption that he was just kidnapped and shoved into a suit to sing at this wedding. So…how many of his other gigs started this way that he would jump to that conclusion? Ignacio tells him to smile and pushes him into place on a platform with a table and a fabric-decorated arch and a dude in a suit with some paperwork. Pedro gawps at the assembled guests and then turns as the wedding march starts, and here comes his fantasy girl, all decked out in a long white dress, holding a simple spray of white flowers tied with a ribbon…and heading straight for him!

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.

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Sara
Autora/ Author

Gracias amiga! I see potential here, but Eugenio and Laura need to take it down a notch and stop trying so hard to be funny/regular folks. “Doña Sara watches her stories.” My husband thought it was hilarious that the “Sara” was all about her stories. It must be a Sara thing. What? I like my stories. “Pro tip: when someone won’t take “no” for an answer and you’re going to agree to “just one drink” pour it yourself from a container you open and don’t let the glass out of your sight. ” You and my husband were on the… Read more »

Vivi
Visita/ Guest
Vivi

Thanks, Kat! I did not see this, but may check it out On Demand. It looks cute. So, Laura Flores and Eugenio Siller are playing mother and son, AGAIN! This is like the third or fourth time. Must be a tn record.