Fernanda insists that Dani go home tonight so she can show up for work tomorrow and keep Fernanda informed.
Ignacio arrives at the hospital to pretend to care about Fernanda and Santiago. Fer’s back on board with the “Leonardo is evil” idea.
Cocó has a nightmare where everyone’s in her bedroom accusing her of not being pregnant…except for Termi who accuses her from the doorway while wearing a hat and a trench coat (and not looking half bad). She goes running out of her house in her footie pajamas and a greenish light shines down from heaven (or an alien vessel, I’m not sure which) as the voice of God (or, you know, the ship’s captain) booms out “Cocó! You’re not pregnant!” She unsnaps her pjs to find…a pillow! Dun, dun, dun!
Cocó wakes up with a start and the sum total of her reaction is “Damn, my conscience is brutal.”
Grandma, what big lies you have!
Bow Tie Guy wins the fight, much to Sara’s delight (and the delight of the coffee can, one presumes). When Yesenia goes into the ring to promenade him, she notices Sara jumping up and down and turns her head quickly. Right, because gosh, wouldn’t it be embarrassing to have to explain the I Dream of Jeannie knock-off outfit vs. miraculously regaining the ability to walk. I say stare her down, Yessie!
The Santiago situation
Humberto tells Leonardo about Santiago’s beating and his concerns people will think they’re behind it. Pedro wants to be sure they’re not and Humberto is offended by the question. Look, this is what everyone’s going to ask. Oh, but they’ll be asking about “Leonardo” more than Humberto. “Leonardo” suggests the way out of this is to pardon Santiago.
Humberto’s shocked to hear this coming from “Leonardo.” And he thinks it would only make them look more guilty. His brilliant plan, since the press release went out and he’s sure people will call and want statements, is that the party line is “We’re very sorry about what happened and we’ve always acted within the law.” Nora interrupts them to say that breakfast is ready. “Leonardo” has no appetite and is ready to go to the office.
Nora asks to speak to Humberto about “Leonardo,” now that he’s gone.
It’s family breakfast time at Casa Perico. Sara complains about her aches and pains and Yesenia solicitously asks if her poor granny really can’t feel anything in her legs at all…and then kicks her under the table to verify that. HA! I mean, uh, what a mean thing to do. *snort* Sara pretends she got a sudden twinge in her neck
Inés starts filling “Pedro” in on her plans for the wedding food but he doesn’t want her to put herself out. It’s no bother, really, Paloma and Lupe are going to help, too. Cachito goes on this tangent about the torta … who’s going to make the torta (cake)? Is Sara going to make the torta? Did Cocó eat the torta (sandwich) before recess? (Have sex before marriage.) Paloma hustles him out of there while he keeps up a steady stream of chatter about Veronica on the novela that’s on at 8. Sara just says “Don’t look at me. Kids and drunks always tell the truth.”
Inés is counting the coffee can money to see what they can spend on the wedding and guess what? There’s an extra $200 in there. Sara says it’s the duendes again. They heard about the wedding and wanted to chip in. Inés isn’t buying that, but she’s got stuff to do, so that’s a mystery for another time.
Sara notices Yesenia looking at her oddly and Yesenia says it’s nothing, she just dropped a lipstick under the table here…she stabs Sara in the foot with a pin. Sara pretends she didn’t feel it.
Fernanda and Ignacio have been at the hospital all night. A doctor emerges from his room with bad news. Santiago has an aneurisma (aneurism) that could burst at any moment and kill him. She demands the doctor operate, but he says an operation would be more dangerous than the aneurism itself.
Ignacio tries to get Fernanda to calm down. She’s determined to get someone to operate on Santiago. Ignacio offers her his laptop to use for research. As he’s handing it to her, her phone is ringing and she shows him that “Leonardo” is calling. She lets it go to voicemail.
“Leonardo” leaves her a message, asking her to please tell him what’s wrong so they can talk about it and give him a chance to defend himself. “I love you.”
Ignacio works on Fernanda. He insists they have to continue with their plan. She has to figure out how she’s going to handle “Leonardo.” He hands her her phone and tells her to call him.
Nora is convinced that “Leonardo” was saying “goodbye” to her and she’s got a terrible feeling. She doesn’t exactly think he’s suicidal, but his strange behavior makes her think of what the doctor said–that maybe there’s some hereditary mental illness…. They’re interrupted by Fabiola. She was trying to eavesdrop, but Humberto saw her, so she walked in instead. Nora leaves and Fabiola tries to get Humberto to take her on vacation. Yeah, yeah, sure, when things settle down.
Nora and Karen are polishing the silver when Fabiola comes into the kitchen to ask Nora about her conversation with Humberto. She wants to know why they’re always so mysterious when they talk about Leonardo. They’re hiding something and she wants to know what it is. Nora denies there are any secrets in this house. She says Fabiola’s seeing things where they don’t exist. Fabiola is angry that Nora’s trying to make her seem crazy and insists she’ll find out the truth. “Why don’t you try asking Humberto?” Fabi tells her to watch out–she’ll pay for her altanería (arrogance) one day.
Fabi works on her tan and gets a text from Armando. The video recording of their last sexual encounter? That was him. For insurance. He threatens to send it to Humberto if she doesn’t meet him in the usual place. Oh, Armando. You’re blackmailing her for sex? Couldn’t you just blackmail her for money like any other sicko?
Fabiola arrives at the Luxury Hotel. She tosses a wad of cash on the bed and tells him to content himself with that. He doesn’t, of course.
At the mercado
Basilio is on another information-gathering mission. NOW Doña Tencha tells him about “Pedro’s” amnesia and how it’s adversely affecting the piñateria. She agrees he’s almost like a different person, but he’s still just as cusco (player) as ever. And now everyone has to chip in for his wedding. Can you believe it! And it had better happen quickly, too, before she starts showing! Basi does his best “¡No me digas!” (You don’t say!)
He’s surprised to hear the wedding is the day after tomorrow, at the Mercado after it closes. Doña Tencha figures “Perico” will just move Cocó and the baby in with Inés and let her support them all. She’s a saint, that woman! Well, maybe not so saintly. Rumor has it she’s seeing Jonathan, you know, the cheese vendor? But that can’t be true because he’s way younger than her. But then, si el río suena, agua lleva (If the river sounds, there’s water in it; where there’s smoke there’s fire).
Melquiades returns “Pedro’s” plan to him. He didn’t understand a word. And he still doesn’t understand a word when “Pedro” explains it to him because there are too many fancy words too close together. “Pedro” summarizes it as “We could all make more money.” and asks if he can speak to the other locatarios (tenants) so he can put a better prospectus together. Melquiades gives him permission but warns him they may want to blacken his eyes!
The skeevy Justino section
Tania is looking at a map when Justino arrives with food and a bunch of stuff he bought for her room. She’s getting ready to go to a restaurant nearby and see if she can get a waitressing job. He offers to go with her and she accepts, since she’s worried about getting lost. The way he keeps staring at her is disgusting.
Paloma takes advantage of her father’s absence to visit her mom. Magdalena is angry that she has no idea where Justino is and he didn’t leave money to pay their suppliers. Eugenio thought he was with his compadre’s daughter, but she never arrived, so that’s not where he is. Magdalena tries to turn down an offer of cash from Paloma, but she insists–she’ll just pay it back later. Eugenio wonders if Justino said anything else about why his compadre’s daughter didn’t show up after all. “When have you known him to give explanations? He said his compadre sent her somewhere else, that’s it.” Eugenio seems suspicious.
Justino takes Tania to lunch and she talks about how badly she needs a job. She didn’t realize her visa was only a tourist visa. She’s determined not to go home, where there are no jobs at all. She’ll do anything, as long as it’s not “bad.” She doesn’t even have enough left for a second month’s rent. He reaches for her hand and says he’ll help her out until she finds a job. Maybe Tania’s finally feeling the skeevy vibe because she pulls her hand away from him.
We need a plan!
“Leonardo” gets to the office. Fernanda still isn’t there, but Daniela arrives and he takes the opportunity to ask if she knows what’s going on with Fer. Daniela claims she hasn’t seen her since yesterday, but agrees to let him know if she calls. Basilio comes in, crowing about his news, and they head for Leonardo’s office.
Yep, “Pedro’s” getting married in two days and he’s broke. And also, Tencha said Inés is seeing Jonathan. Pedro angrily cuts him off and Basi agrees that’s not important right now. So, uh, is he going to let The Clone marry Cocó?
They start drawing a diagram of just how screwed Pedro is. They determine that if The Clone marries Cocó, as far as the law is concerned, she’ll be Pedro’s wife (not according to my previous studies in TV matrimonial law, but ok, we’ll go with it). And that will mean that Pedro can’t marry Fernanda. And also, there’s the matter of Santiago Blanco, who Leonardo put in jail, but it’s Pedro who has to deal with the fallout. Basi advises him to let Humberto be the one to deal with Santiago. Pedro feels bad. Santiago’s story really affected him. The only thing Pedro can think of to do is go interrupt the wedding, but Basi vetoes that idea–all that will do is get him arrested and ruin any chance he would have had with Fernanda. He just wants someone to tell him que va a hacer (what he’s going to do)! “Billulo” Gwen pipes up helpfully, “Hay que hacer billulo.” (You’ve got to make money.) Basi and Pedro look pityingly at Gwen.
Pedro has charts. Many charts. He thinks he’s combined three projects in one. Basi looks at the charts Pedro just handed him and says he’s a diamond en bruto (in the rough)…but way, way bruto (stupid). He throws the charts in the trash as Pedro laments that Gwen’s right. They have to make money. Lots of money. Right away! His phone rings.
Fer tells him she’s in Seattle with a sick friend. She’ll be there for a couple of days. She wanted to apologize for the way she treated him the other night. She was just shocked by the phone call, but she’s not angry at him. He goes on and on about how he loves her and she sarcastically says “I love you too, LEONARDO.” Ignacio tells her she did what she had to do and shouldn’t feel bad. She’s being very brave. Fernanda doesn’t seem to care for his praise and goes to see if the doctor has any news.
Pedro is renewed, knowing he has her “love.” Screw Leonardo. It’ll be good for him to be poor for a while. Ivonne comes in and Pedro informs her that he wants his paycheck in cash tomorrow. “Um, that’s a lot of money.” He plays the Eccentric Millionaire card and that’s enough for Ivonne. When she leaves Pedro tells Basi he just got another idea and he’ll explain on the way. To the Basimobile!
But how do you defend your metaphorical heart?
It’s time for Hipster Ruben’s self-defense class, but he’s being uncooperative. Yesenia has to put his hands around her neck so she can demonstrate how to break a choke hold. 1: Push the attacker’s arms out. 2: Grab the attacker by the back of the neck. 3: Plant a foot in the attacker’s gut and fall backwards, flipping him over. She ends up sitting on top of him and says he’d go broke as a thief. Ruben flips Yesenia over onto her back and says she’d go broke as a teacher–she knocked him out in the first lesson. At least that’s what I heard. After rewinding several times. To try to hear him better. What? Why else would I need to watch that scene repeatedly? To watch them allllllllmost kiss fifty times? To prolong the inevitable?
Ruben suddenly gets up and says that’s probably enough for today. Yesenia is pissed and he wants to know why. She admits she’s a little sacada de onda (thrown off) and he sincerely apologizes, but he can’t do this because he’s in love with someone else. Whatever! She doesn’t CARE! She doesn’t even give a rábano (radish) sliced in half, and then in half again, and again to infinity! Ruben sticks out his hand and asks if they can still be friends. In response, she twists his arm to bring him to his knees and says “I’ll teach you how to do that tomorrow.”
Fer visits Santiago and talks to him about how he defended her when they were younger, even against boys who were bigger than him. She’s going to defend him now. She’ll find a doctor to operate on him and he’s going to get better.
It’s sort of a family tradition
Inés wedding dress is an ’80s taffeta concoction with big puffy sleeves and a flounce at the hem. Cocó kinda whines that it’s old-fashioned. Paloma suggests some alterations…ditch the sleeves, get rid of the butt bow, make it more entallado (fitted) and it could look more modern, right? Inés tells Cocó she got married pregnant, too, but Sara helped make the dress, with her savings. Sara claims her memory is failing.
Cocó asks about giving birth to Pedro, but Inés doesn’t want to talk about it. Sara explains that Chamoy was adamant that Inés give birth in the US, but Inés went into labor and they didn’t make it across. They stopped in a little town near the border and Inés wasn’t doing well and–Inés interrupts her and reminds her she’s said several times she DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!