Silvana sin Lana Wednesday 9/7/16 #36

The aftermath of the non-boda

Stella made it back home. She’s lying on her bed, still in her wedding dress, neatly arranged as if she’s dead. Dom talks to her through the door, but she screams at him that she wants to die.

Dom calls Manuel and they compare notes. Manuel grudgingly asks if Stella said anything about Poncho then diplomatically relays the “She doesn’t even know he exists!” back to Poncho as a “No.” Dom’s really freaking out, but Manuel thinks Stella’s just trying to get attention. She’ll be fine after she has a nap and a hot bath. He refuses to go over there.

Lucha and Andres come downstairs and get an update. Andres agrees that Stella may just be acting out, but she might also be in shock. Um, yeah, Poncho’s probably going to be fine if he gets some rest, but Andres really thinks they should go check on Stella. Lucha agrees. Manuel tells them to go for it, but not to fall for her act and not to bring her back to his house!

On their way out, they let Chivis in and Lucha doesn’t even make a face about it. Chivis is worried about Stella and Poncho rushes into her arms crying about how everyone’s worried about Stella and no one’s asking about him! Chivis is confused–wasn’t this all a scheme…. Manuel struggles not to laugh as Poncho starts to explain how it was, but it wasn’t. Chivis shoots Manuel a confused look and he tells her it’s better not to ask.


Jorge and Marge have decided to go to the movies. Gosh, I wonder if they’ll run into Angie and Benji! *roll eyes*

This leaves Benito, Trini, and Juanito–who shows no sign of leaving–at Benito’s. Good thing, he can serve as Benito’s personal DJ when Benito decides he’d really like to dance a waltz with Trini.

Benito gives Juanito a subtle sign to leave the room before he goes down on one knee and asks Trini…to be his girlfriend. Say it with me now: Trini faints. When she wakes up she doesn’t remember a thing that happened. Uh huh. She downs her drink and runs before Benito can ask again. She refuses to let him walk her home.


Chivis is doing the accounting, in her jammies, when Trini tells her to drop that paperwork! She’s got something to tell her! And Chivis had better not laugh! She’s laughing already at the terrified look on Trini’s face…and then she laughs harder when she hears that Don Benito declared his love. She’s laughing at the amount of romantic drama that seems to happen in this neighborhood. Trini brags about faking a fainting fit and amnesia. Chivis tells her to chill about it–her dad wouldn’t mind. And if she likes Benito…. Trini thinks she’s too old for “that sort of thing” and Benito’s just not “in her class.” Chivis can’t believe she’s still on about that stuff. Has she learned nothing? Who cares about that? He’s a good guy and he likes her. Trini fusses about Chivis being disrespectful as she bustles out of the room and Chivis laughs.

Lupita hangs out with Pedrito. He’s really angry about what Stella did. He’s starting to spout stuff about “you can’t trust women” and when Lupita shuts him down he decides they should break up. They go all melodramatic as he says it’s better this way. Lupita wants a reason–does he like someone else? No, she’s the prettiest girl in school. He’s just afraid of suffering. But everyone suffers! But he doesn’t want her to leave him at the altar. OK, fine, so she’ll leave you now, in tears!

Lupita runs home and cries to Angie that Pedrito broke up with her because he doesn’t want to suffer. He doesn’t like her anymore and she loves him. Angie doesn’t get it. Lupita says he’s afraid of getting dumped like Poncho. Angie gently advises explaining to him that she likes him…er, loves him…and they’re going to be ok. “Will you tell him for me?” No, dear, you need to do that on your own. Lupita offers to trade–she’ll talk to Jorge if Angie talks to Pedrito. Um, no, the Jorge ship has sailed. Lupita thinks the new guy seems to like Angie–he had a stupid look on his face every time he looked at her.

Poncho explains how he got sucked into the fantasy of really marrying Stella. To Pedrito. That is so not going to help either of them. He’s told Pedro the story five times now and Manuel and Vicente fell asleep. Pedrito goes to sleep while Poncho keeps telling himself the story.

Poor Stella

Andres and Lucha try to reassure Dom that Stella’s going to be fine in a few days. He’s really worried that she’s going to…he makes sort of a diving motion with his hands. Lucha and Andres repeat it, trying to understand, until Dom explains he’s worried she’ll kill herself. Ohhhh, well Andres will check her out and let him know, ok?

Dom is taking this like some kind of religious experience. He’s been clutching his bible the whole time and now he says he’s realizing that God, in His infinite mercy, put him on this earth to keep a tragedy from happening. He leads them upstairs to Stella’s room.

She’s sitting on the floor now, looking at a picture of Manuel. She refuses to talk to anybody and insists she’s not sick. Andres offers her a sedative, but she’s not interested. She tells Lucha to go tell Manuel she hates him. I try to decide whether the streaks of dirt down her dress constitute an improvement. Dom suggests electroshock while Andres makes a “Bro, please,” face. They hear Stella crying and screaming about hating Manuel and everybody leans their heads toward the door.

Andres writes a prescription for sedatives for Stella. He tells Dom to just put it in her food or something. She’s going to get hungry or thirsty eventually. (That seems a little unethical.)

Dom is worried about Poncho. Lucha says he’s spending the night at her house, so that’ll probably be good for him. Dom swears on the bible that he hasn’t felt this sad since he saw those pictures of Ricky Martin with his boyfriend. Uh…that’s Ricky Martin’s boyfriend, not Dom’s.

Dom is parked outside Stella’s door, trying to get her interested in maybe watching El Señor de los Cielos…or playing STOP and letting her pick the letter…or maybe he can read her the latest gossip magazine. He starts getting angry that she won’t answer the door and chews her out for dragging him into her suffering. He goes back to whining and offering to rub her feet…or her head…or doing some reiki.

He starts to think she’s fallen asleep, but she pushes a note under the door. Dom reads it in delight: “I want you to buy me ten containers of chocolate ice cream with nuts.” That’s right. She’s back!

ILO Reception

Jorge and Marge and Angie and Benji are all at the same movie. *sigh* Marge won’t shut up to Jorge about how “fast” Angie moves. She convinces him to kiss her while Angie keeps looking back at them. I’m pretty sure the fact that Angie was looking at them influenced his decision.


Dom’s glad to see the empty ice cream containers outside Stella’s door. She’s at least talking, or screaming, but she has no intention of leaving her room. Ever. He tries yelling at her to snap out of it already, but she just screams back at him that nobody stops loving her. NOBODY! She goes back to being a sobbing puddle on her floor. Still wearing the wedding dress, now with dirt from her long run AND a nice dribble of ice cream down the front. Seriously, show, Stella’s awful, but this is no fun to watch!

Poncho gets home. Dom’s glad to see him, and he asks Poncho to try talking to her. Dom thinks they’ve lost her. She’s done nothing but eat ten gallons of ice cream and she won’t get out of her wedding dress.

“What about meeeeeeee?!” Poncho’s still hurt that nobody seems to care. Well, Dom hates to say “I told you so,” but…. Poncho is ready to talk to her. He’s going to go tell her the truth. Dom squeezes Poncho’s shoulders and points to the stairs.

Stella thinks Poncho’s just coming to try to get her out of her room like everyone else is. She tells him to go away–she’s NOT leaving! He starts talking about how beautiful she looked. Stella gets angry. Why is he reminding her when it was the worst day of her life?! Poncho says it was the best day of his. He finally manages to say that he loves her. For real.

Stella doesn’t believe him. She tells him to cut it out. Poncho keeps insisting he means it. Dom cries as he listens in. Poncho says he may not be handsome, but he loves her and he wants to make her happy. Stella insists she only loves Manuel, he’s the only man who can make her happy, and the only man she can think of.

Dom tells Poncho again, “I told you so.” He advises Poncho to pick his heart up off the floor, stick it in a bag, and move on. Poncho thinks if only he looked more like Manuel, Stella would love him. “Yeah, and if I were rich and spoke Portuguese I’d be married to Ricky Martin. Stop dreaming! Take some Ubicatex. It comes in pills and syrup, but you’d better take the whole bottle.” Ubicatex as in “ubicate” as in “locate yourself” as in “get a grip.”

Fish Market

The camera avoids Stella’s stall. Vicente has decided it’s time to give Majo a fish market nickname. Maybe…kanikama. Ah, but remember, Majo knows her sushi and she thinks that’s a terrible nickname! Kanikama is imitation crab. He thinks it’s perfect, because she’s more like sushi than fish.

“Don’t bother. I won’t even be here two days. This is just a punishment for me.” Hm, maybe she should misbehave more often. Majo’s laughing at his bad flirting again, and no, she’s not going to try to spend more time at the fish market. They’re already neighbors–they’ll get sick of each other. But he could never get sick of her lips, her eyes…they snog.

Vicente breaks off the kiss when he sees Andres and warns Majo. He thinks Andres saw them, or so he says. Majo hides. When Andres sees Vicente, Vicente denies knowing where Majo is and points him in the direction of Manuel’s office, which is opposite the direction she went.

Actually, she is in Manuel’s office, desperately trying not to look, or smell, like she works near fish. Andres catches her spritzing herself with body spray. She complains that she’s not ready and begs him to show up some other day.

“I already know you’re not in school and you work here.” Majo starts complaining about Lucha telling him. Andres says he’s just checking on her. She whines that she’s bored, smells like fish, is tired from waking up “every day” at 5am, and tired of “nacos” whistling at her all day. Other than that, she’s fine. Andres gets a kick out of her whining. He never thought he’d see her like this.

“Did you just come by to make fun of me?” No, he just wanted to see how she was doing and tell her she can still count on him. Vicente walks in and says the three of them need to talk.


Angie comes by to pick up some bread and Jorge gets rid of Juanito so he can talk to her. He saw her at the movies with Benji. Yeah, she saw him too with Marge(‘s face). He starts asking her questions about Benji that probably don’t go anywhere he wanted. Angie says he’s putting himself through school and studying civil engineering.

She suggests, since they’re both adults and they live in the same neighborhood, maybe they should drop the innuendoes and the giving each other a hard time. Jorge swears he didn’t mean anything by it. “I’ll pretend I believe you.” Jorge promises he won’t mess with Angie anymore and Marge comes in, wondering what he means by that.

Angie says they were just talking about Benji. Marge congratulates Angie on her hot new boyfriend. Because he’s, like so cute, right? Like really cute. Like super mega cute. “Don’t be jealous, Jorge,” Marge coos as she sees Jorge trying to look like he’s not pouting. Anyway, congrats. Angie says she’s gotta get the bread back home, so, take care!

Whatever deal Angie and Jorge have, he has no deal with Marge. She starts bugging him about the look he gets on his face whenever Angie comes around. He says it’s nothing. She’s in her world, he’s in his. “Then why can’t we be together again?!” She doesn’t mean just the going out they’ve been doing, she means being a couple again. She whines and whines at him until Jorge says she wins. They won’t be together anymore.


They’ll be a couple again. Marge snogs him before she says “yes.”

Ubicatex overdose

Poncho packs. Dom cries that he’s breaking up the family. Poncho yells at him to stop…or he’ll cry too! Ponch says he’s going to Manuel’s for a few days and then he’s going to go look for his own place. He doesn’t think he can live near Stella anymore. Dom refuses to believe it. Poncho will be back!

Poncho doesn’t think so. He tells Dom to take care of himself and take care of Stella. Dom tries to grab Poncho and keep him there by force, but Poncho shoves him off. OK, then Dom helps him carry his stuff out.

They stop at Stella’s door and poncho tells Dom to take care of her. “I don’t know how I’m going to protect her from herself.” Stella’s door opens as they head down the stairs….

Three-way talk

Vicente insists they have stuff they need to clear up so the three of them can make a decision. Majo’s horrified. Andres is alternating between snapping at him and ignoring him. Vicente blocks Andres’ path to the door and says this will be quick. All he needs to do is ask Majo one question.

Andres gets a lot closer to the door this time, but he doesn’t appreciate Vicente grabbing his arm to keep him from leaving. Again, Vicente says it’s an easy question. It’s the answer that will be difficult, so the burden of this will be on Majo.

Majo pulls away from him and tells Vicente to leave her alone. He says this is really simple, though. Andres here looks like he’s still really into her and to be honest, Vicente is too. And Majo seems to like them both–Andres cuts him off, telling him to “ubicate” (find his place). Oh, he’d love to, but it’s a little difficult to know what his place is in this story when Majo’s hitting on him and kissing him until Andres shows up.

Majo denies it! She says it’s not true! “Oh, really? When you got here she went running for the office to hide, or is that a lie?” Vicente tells her to just draw her line already. Which one of the two of them does she want? Majo looks at him in disbelief.

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.