Silvana sin Lana Week of 9/26/16 #49-52

Monday 9/26/16

No episode – Presidential debate

Tuesday 9/27/16 #49

Chivis is going to need a lawyer, but Manuel doesn’t think she should talk to Rafael–he has another lawyer in mind. Lucha walks in on them and goes running back up the stairs, so Manuel pays her a visit later. It bothers Lucha that Chivis it the total opposite of her mom and that Manuel is actually in love with her.

Well, her mom was unique, so he’ll be alone forever if he looks for someone just like her. Besides, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Lucha says Mauro told her the same thing earlier. He teases her about Mauro being a copycat and how she’d better not get to love Mauro more than she loves him. He’s sure when she gets married and has kids he’ll be last on her list of people to hug. “Then take advantage of still being the first while you can.”

Stella realized it’s her wig that smells like fish, so she’s in the bathroom, desperately trying to deodorize it. Instead she makes the whole bathroom smell like fish and cheap perfume. She desperately starts washing the wig in the sink.

It’s a little…big…when she gets back to the table. And now it smells like perfume, which she blames on the table next to them. She suddenly remembers she’s got a busy day tomorrow and leaves without even eating her dinner.

Back in the car, Stella tells Poncho what happened, but she has the perfect solution–she’ll just stop selling fish.

Angie’s still not sure she’s ready for a relationship and Benji’s still pretending to be sensitive. He suggests more math to pass the time until she’s sure.

Chivis needs to tell Trini about the notice, but she’s got to get her to stop making wild guesses first. Once she actually listens to Chivis and hears they’re getting all their stuff taken…again…she faints. When Chivis wakes her up, Trini begs God to take her now. Oddly enough, He doesn’t take her up on it.

Trini doesn’t like that Chivis went running to Manuel for help, but seriously, who else is going to help her?

In the office in the morning, Vicente is annoyed with Manuel for telling Lucha about getting caught kissing Chivis. He thinks Lucha just doesn’t want to share him.

Manuel asks for help getting rid of Cata’s texts. Vicente says he’s sending himself a few first and calls Cata “The Piranha.”

Stella invades Manuel’s office. When she finally gets to the point, it’s to tell him she’s invading his office permanently. Not only does he refuse, he criticizes her for pretending to be someone she’s not, running around in a costume with a rat on a leash. (Hey, don’t lash out at the dog! It’s not his fault!)

Chivis calls and Manuel says he has good news. They’ll talk later when they go over the stuff for Cata’s event. Stella makes fun of Chivis, saying her old golf buddies call her “Silvana sin lana” now.

She takes a call from Steve, inviting her to a get together at his house that will allegedly include Gloria and Emilio (Estefan). Manuel couldn’t be less interested.

Lupita is still suffering Majo’s absence. This morning it’s because no one else is as good at doing her hair (#curlygirlproblems). She’s worried about getting a dress for her First Communion in time and Trini is horrified at her suggestion, since money is tight, that they look for one at a second-hand shop. She’s ok with Lupita’s idea to have Angie video the whole ceremony on her phone so her dad doesn’t miss any of it.

Trini goes to the panadería to cry on Benito’s shoulder about getting all their stuff seized again. Plus Lupita doesn’t have a First Communion dress. (Hm…I seem to remember somebody complaining about Silvana always running to Manuel….)

Lupita writes to her loser dad to tell him Majo left the house and invite him to her First Communion.

Lucha sees Andres hanging out on campus and goes over to pretend to have a casual conversation. What she really wants is to know if it’s true he moved in with Majo. He explains they’re living with his parents, so it’s not like “living together.”

Mauro shows up and Lucha is way more affectionate with him than usual. He brought her a couple of soy burgers and he hints that he’s going to talk to her about going vegetarian later.

Manuel’s “good news” is that all Chivis has to do to keep her stuff from being seized is move it into his house before the feds get there. Seriously? I never once hear him say that a lawyer advised him to do this. Chivis doesn’t think this sounds legal either.

Changing the subject, he needs her to come with him to Cata’s house to protect him from her advances. He might not have said it exactly like that, but we all know what he meant. Chivis agrees, but she won’t go in alone and leave him outside. Heh.

Benji comes to pick Angie up from school. She got an “A” on her test today! Jorge and Marge see them, so of course, Jorge’s in a bad mood by the time they get to the panadería. He tries to say he’s just thinking about an English essay he has to write. Marge can’t help herself, can she? She just has to bring up Angie’s “boyfriend” and get Jorge going about how much he hates the guy.

No actual business happens at Cata’s house. Mostly she talks about what a prude Chivis is and hits on Manuel. Really aggressively. I’m not sure if Chivis doesn’t pick up all the hints about pictures…of the voluptuous event location…and the place he can deliver the merchandise…or if she’s just so used to Cata being obnoxious that she ignores it.

Back at Manuel’s office it seems like Chivis thought it was just flirting. She brings up the kiss from the other day and Manuel offers to demonstrate exactly how Cata grabbed him and…. Chivis accuses him of liking the kiss, but he swears he only has eyes for her.

Majo sells clothes out of the back of a car I assume she borrowed from Andres. It bears no resemblance to the stuff she was looking at on the computer, and I swear one potential customer is holding up and repeatedly folding and unfolding a crocheted doily.

Dom and Poncho are both worried about Stella going over to Steve’s house. No worries, Poncho is going to be outside waiting in the car. Dom wants to come along too, as the gay best friend. (Seriously, show?) But no, Stella wants the spotlight all to herself tonight.

Vicente shows up and asks to talk to her. He saw her check-in on Facebook and came over to tell her he’s not giving up on her because he knows they both love each other. He reminds her about how beautiful their lovemaking was. He knows they’re different, but he wants to show her he can be someone she could marry. He wants to be able to tell their kids about how they fell in love right away and she taught him how to fight for the person he loves. He kisses her and says he’s going to fight for her. He begs her not to make a mistake that’s going to hurt all three of them. He tells her he loves her.

Wednesday 9/28/16 #50

Silvana breaks it to Angie and Lupita about their latest embargo notice. They’re going to move everything next door so there’s nothing for them to take. Even Angie thinks this sounds wrong. The neighbors come over, ready to help them move.

Benito, on the other hand, thinks it sounds brilliant. As he tells Trini when she comes over to complain. But if she’d like, she can move in with him and Marge and he’ll give up his room.

The guys were right to be nervous–there’s no one in Steve’s house when Stella gets there and when Steve finally emerges, he does a little dance in his kimono and boxers.

And if you thought THAT was weird, when she goes to check out the balcony overlooking his pool he hits his stereo remote and starts playing a song that talks about “come up to my bed and get naked” and quickly progresses to talking about the G-spot. I’m not kidding. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

From there they move on to bad tango on the balcony and nearly kissing. Poor Poncho gets to witness that part. Steve seems a little too interested in Stella’s “salmon exporting” business and what she does with all her money. I’m starting to wonder if he’s a narco who thinks he can use her business to move drugs. Or maybe he thinks she’s a narco, because the whole “I’m super rich from exporting salmon” thing does sound a little fishy. Pun semi-intended.

This is starting to look like the never-ending date from hell. Steve just wants to keep dancing bad tango on his balcony and Stella is realizing the other “guests” are never going to show up. He begs for one last dance, but when he dips her, her wig falls off and it freaks him out. Poncho hears the screaming and comes running with a fire extinguisher. Don’t ask me why a fire extinguisher. It’s not like anything else makes sense.

Steve takes a break from screaming in terror at Stella and runs to answer his front door where Poncho assaults him with the fire extinguisher and ruins his genuine (yeah, right) kimono. Stella promises to buy him a new one and gets the hell out of there with Poncho.

Andres takes Majo to the condo his dad just bought them to propose to her again. She still wants to marry him…but does it have to be soon? She makes a bunch of excuses, but Andres thinks it’s Vicente who has her confused.

Majo swears it’s not, she just doesn’t think it’s the right time. She cries about her dad not being there and fighting with her mom and Andres apologizes and says she’s right, they should wait until everything is perfect. Majo remembers what Vicente said about her making a mistake that would make the three of them miserable.

Angie isn’t taking this second move well. She vents to Benji about how she can’t believe her dad did this to them again. He lets his inner creep show for just a second when he says maybe her dad’s not all that guilty and it’s just “business,” but Angie can’t stand lies. He’s so supportive I can’t tell if he’s a good actor or he’s starting to forget he’s supposed to be scamming her.

Trini walks in on them kissing (barely) and starts babbling about their circumstances and how Benji shouldn’t go telling everyone. He can only take a few minutes before he decides he’s got somewhere else to be. Trini likes him, though, and she likes him for Angie because she thinks he has more class. What. Ever. She mentions Benito’s offer to stay with him, but I can’t tell if she decided to take him up on it or not.

The house is nearly empty. Manuel says they’ll take the TV over later and reminisces about going to buy it together and the guy treating them like they were married.

It really sucks how much Manuel acts like the two of them are a team and AJ, who’s supposed to be her partner, just keeps leaving her to fend for herself. And yet Majo thinks her mother’s marriage is supposed to mean something? Please, AJ crapped all over it. But I digress.

The plan is, the Villaseñoras will sleep in their own house and come over to Manuel’s for breakfast. When Chivis finally manages to get Manuel to stop with the outrageous flirting and go grab a big heavy box from her bedroom, his phone starts beeping. It’s Cata. With naked pictures from her bathtub.

Lucha comes home and finds her living room full of furniture. Jorge teases her, saying the neighbors have moved in. Good thing Angie’s there to tell her it’s not true. She explains that it’s just their stuff, so it won’t get taken. They’ll be coming over for meals though, Jorge helpfully adds. Mauro would be more than happy to help move more stuff, but since they’re basically finished he seems like he’s in a hurry to leave. Lucha is really nice to Angie about being able to store some stuff in her room if they need it. I’m thinking she wouldn’t be this nice if Majo were still around.

Angie’s talking to Jorge about how hard this is for her, how it’s bringing back bad memories, when Marge shows up. She starts joking about moving and garage sales, and she’d pay a dollar for Angie and ship her to China to get rid of her. What? They’re getting everything seized again? Wow Angie’s dad really went from ricachón (rich guy) to ladrón (thief).

In fact, the stealing must run in the family, since Angie tried to steal her boyfriend. Angie starts to snap and Jorge sends her to the kitchen. He barely scolds Marge and he doesn’t even seem to care that she screams at him to shut up not to defend “them” and keeps digging through a box of their things.

The house is even closer to being empty and Manuel is sure they’ll come over, take everything they can (except the beds) and leave them alone for good. Trini brings up Benito’s offer. It sounds like she is going to take him up on it. And it doesn’t sound like she’s going to be coming over to Manuel’s for breakfast. Chivis really has nothing to say, but maybe she’s just too tired to care. She goes upstairs for one last check.

Angie comes running in, upset, and barges into Chivis’ room to say she can’t take it anymore…and finds Chivis looking at Manuel’s phone. Chivis makes some really flimsy excuses for why she has it and claims she’s just trying to figure out how to turn it off. All the while the damn thing keeps beeping. At least it distracted Angie from her emotional turmoil.

Manuel goes in to talk to Lucha, but of course she’s already heard. And she’s not upset…until he says he’s putting their washing machine in her room. No, no, he’s just kidding. He asks how things are going with Mauro. Maybe he can get her to stop being so cranky. Lucha throws pillows at him.

Trini makes it over to Benito’s where he’s all set to sleep on the couch. They have an awkward conversation about him talking in his sleep and he eventually convinces her to go upstairs, but he has to schlep her ginormous suitcase for her.

Chivis finally gets the cell phone turned off and Angie tells her about Marge being horrible. They both know it’s really not about Angie or her dad, but Marge’s stupid jealousy of Angie because of Jorge. It doesn’t help that Angie feels more alone without Majo there, but Chivis noticed Benji’s been around a lot and he’s sooooo nice and hey, why not date him? If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. It’s not like he’s proposing marriage or anything.

Manuel interrupts their heart-to-heart looking for his phone. Silvana’s angry glare as she says it was ringing a lot ought to tell him she saw those sexts from Cata.

Majo and Andres make it back to his house and he’s talking about wanting to be sure she loves the condo because they’re going to be living there for the rest of their lives. Majo suddenly seems to realize they’re going to be together “until death.”

Andres’ mom is all excited about getting to work with the wedding planner soon, but Andres tells her “Majo thinks” this isn’t the right time. Majo thought Andres’ mom hated her before? Well now she asks, point-blank, why Majo’s playing around with Andres’ feelings.

Thursday 9/29/16 #51

Majo denies that’s what she’s doing, but Laura is fed up with this. She thinks they’re making decisions for the wrong reasons–Andres is trying to fix Majo’s life and make up for what her dad did and Majo is…. Well, I don’t quite get what she thinks Majo is doing so much as she thinks Majo needs to grow up and understand that “time” isn’t going to solve anything. Majo needs a hug from Andres after that massive truth bomb.

Chivis finally confronts Manuel about the pictures from Cata, but he just gets a kick out of her being jealous. He tells her again he only has eyes for her…even if she doesn’t send him topless photos, har har.

Vicente’s starting to research universities and programs. Lucha’s so proud of him, but she really hopes he’s left Majo behind. Vicente says that’s the one thing he can’t do.

Majo tries to get Angie to go out with her so she can talk about her problems, but Angie says this is a terrible time. She tells Majo about the new notice that they’re having all their assets seized. She’s angry at Majo for acting like it’s going to have any effect on her. She doesn’t even live there anymore! Look, she gets that Majo has problems too, but they can wait until tomorrow.

Benito warned Trini that he talks in his sleep and he wasn’t kidding. She sneaks downstairs to the kitchen and hears him telling her not to squash his croissants and asking her to marry him in between snores.

In the morning, Benito sets out a feast for her breakfast. I see where Marge gets it from. Trini brings up Benito’s talking in his sleep, but she leaves the table in a huff when all he can remember of his dream last night was a woman at an altar…and burned croissants. All that food and she ate one strawberry. ONE!

The rest of the Villaseñoras get ready to go over for breakfast. Lupita’s bringing some cookies she stashed so they wouldn’t come over empty-handed. She says now they’re even more poor, but Chivis makes a joke out of what Trini when they first moved in. “We’re not poor, we’re middle-class and that’s worse.” They go out the door laughing about Lupita saying they all look like they’re going to a party and Angie saying middle-class people don’t go to parties.

At Casa Stella, Stella and Poncho aren’t speaking to each other. She tells Dom about the date and her wig falling off. But somehow Poncho’s the one who embarrassed her. OK, then.

Dom also has news–Jenny called and the pregnancy was ectopic. She’s not pregnant anymore. Poncho does an endzone dance, because apparently he doesn’t realize how serious that is. (But also, didn’t she bring over an ultrasound? So how did they not realize it then?)

At Manuel’s house, the two families have a noisy, but mostly happy, breakfast. Except Vicente. Lucha can tell he’s missing Majo and she offers to fix him up with someone from her school who will “cure” him. Was that a med school joke?

Manuel thanks Chivis for bringing so much “harmony” into his life. No, seriously, he really enjoyed breakfast. And now he’s off to work before he kisses her and makes her want to stay with him forever. AJ lurks nearby in his car watching them flirt. When Manuel drives off, AJ follows him.

Pedrito and Lupita do the dishes while she wonders where she’s going to have her First Communion party and whether the people doing the seizing will be done before then and how she’s praying for her dad to be back in time. And if she doesn’t get what she prayed for? Well, everything happens for a reason. She doesn’t appreciate Pedrito saying religion is weird.

AJ tries to follow Manuel into the fish market, but a truck gets between them and blocks his view.

Angie and Jorge talk about Marge. He swears he’s told her to back off, but she just doesn’t listen. (And that’s ok with him?) And he keeps telling her that he doesn’t have feelings for Angie, but he admits that’s a lie. He’s been jealous since she started going out with Benji. Angie begs him to lie better! And make more of an effort to keep their distance. Her phone beeps and he asks if that was Benji. “What did we just talk about?!”

Vicente found a school he likes that still has open spots and has night classes. He’s just gotten off the phone with them when Cata barges into Manuel’s office. She seems to enjoy flirting with Vicente, but she’s asking a lot of questions about Manuel. She tries to pretend it’s just a friendly interest (not knowing he’s seen the sexts).

Manuel arrives and she hassles him about not responding to any of her messages. Vicente can’t wait to abandon his dad to Cata, who wastes no time locking his office door and shutting his blinds.

Out on the floor, Stella goes over to chat with Vicente, who casually lets slip that Cata’s in Manuel’s office. Stella hands Francisco Javier off to Dom so she can go deal with that fresa.

Cata’s still trying to assault Manuel, but at least he manages to unlock the door. Stella gets in, grabs Cata by the hair, and yanks out one of her extensions. They get into an argument and Cata’s so disgusted by Stella’s allegedly tacky behavior (look who’s talking) she gets the hell out of Manuel’s office. Manuel tells Stella she totally saved him.

Mauro teases Lucha about being nervous about kissing him in front of her brothers. So she kisses him in the middle of campus before she takes off for her free afternoon.

Andres walks up to Mauro after and starts trying to talk to Mauro about how great Lucha is. Mauro tells him to mind his own business and pay attention to his girlfriend instead of Lucha. (Ouch. But also…yep.) Andres tries to insist that Lucha’s his friend, so he’s just looking out for her. Lucha comes back mid-argument to borrow money for the bus. Mauro decides he has plenty of time to walk her to the bus stop.

Rafael calls Chivis. Somehow he heard about the seizure notification and he’s calling to offer his help. He swears he can fix whatever Antonio José did, but Chivis tells him he’d better warn AJ to stay away or she WILL turn him into the cops this time.

Rafael insists if she does, she’ll get into bigger trouble than she’s already in. Trini comes in as Chivis is screaming at Rafael over the phone that she doesn’t want his help and she really will turn AJ in. Trini tells Chivis she’d better not dare

AJ has been wandering around the fish market and narrowly avoided a couple of police officers by ducking into Stella’s booth. He emerges with a hat on his head, a scarf over his face, and a big apron. Dom gets suspicious. He doesn’t know those eyebrows. And he didn’t know they were hiring. How many shrimp are in a pound? How many feet does an octopus have?

AJ runs away from him and Dom cries that they’ve got an industrial spy in the market! No one takes him seriously.

Stella and Manuel are still laughing over the scene in his office, until Manuel tries to thank Stella. She tells him to back off. She’s disgusted with his behavior. Oh, yeah, it was all Cata, women just throw themselves at him, they’re all “crazy,” uh huh. She has no idea what happened to the Manuel she fell in love with, that everyone in the market looked up to. She’s glad she found out what he was really like before it was too late. She storms out of his office. Was she serious? I can’t tell anymore.

AJ continues running from Dom and thinks the walk-in freezer is a great place to hide. Until someone locks him in.

Friday 9/30/16 #52

Trini doesn’t think the girls would ever forgive Chivis if she turns Antonio José in. She’s sure he just made mistakes, but it wasn’t on purpose! And he’ll come back and fix everything.

Really? Chivis doesn’t see how they’re supposed to trust him. All he does is ask for more time (hey, that’s where Majo gets it from!), and he keeps committing more crimes, and the cops won’t leave them alone.

Trini hates the idea that they’ll just keep living in this house, but Chivis says it’s better than living at Don Benito’s, right? Trini has this weird idea that Chivis isn’t leaving AJ because of what he did so much as she’s trying to make him beg. Um, no, Chivis is never going to forgive him for putting his daughters in this situation.

Angie comes over to Andres’ house and Majo tells her about Andres, the apartment, and the proposal. And his mom dared to accuse her of playing with Andres’ feelings. Angie thinks she’s right–Majo doesn’t love Andres. But enough of Majo’s “problems” because Angie has problems too.

She explains about the seizure notice and how Manuel is helping them. Majo wonders about Vicente…is he looking sad lately? After his visit the other day, she’s convinced he loves her and now she thinks she loves him too. Angie echoes Vicente’s warning–Majo needs to make a good decision or she’s going to be miserable. To Majo it’s more important not to let Andres down again.

Plus now she feels like she owes his parents for letting her move in. And she’s definitely not going to move back in with her mom! Andres hears Angie telling Majo not to live a lie, but she covers and says it was about Majo not wanting to tell him she needs more time to be ready to get married.

Angie brings up the new seizure notice and Andres thinks Majo needs to support her mom and she should move back in with her.

Vicente tells Dom and Poncho about going to school to get a degree in Business Administration. He’ll work during the day and take classes at night.

Estella tells Vicente about finding Manuel locked in his office with Cata. She’s worried about what he’s been doing since they broke up and she thinks Vicente should talk to him before people start talking.

Dom is worried Manuel could even lose his job, but Poncho latches on to the idea that if he could get that job, Stella would take him seriously. He goes out to the gazebo and prays to the Virgen. He asks for a sign…

And Jenny appears. He already heard the news, but she tells him she’s not pregnant anymore. Poncho pretends to be a lot more sympathetic than he was last night at home. She tries to use this as an opportunity to get back together with him, but Poncho finally manages to tell her it’s not going to happen and he doesn’t want to see her again. If that was a sign, I don’t know what kind of sign it was.

The same guy who locked him in goes back to the freezer and Antonio José falls right out. At least he doesn’t have hypothermia, according to the paramedic. Don Jacinto mentions reporting the incident to the police.

He tells Dom he might have found his industrial spy, but by the time Stella, Dom, Poncho, and Don J get back to where he left AJ, he’s already made his escape.

Back at his hotel, he takes a hot bath and takes a call from Rafael. AJ’s not worried about Chivis being angry at him or turning him into the cops. And he still thinks he can fix things. Rafa hurriedly ends the call when AJ asks if anyone’s been hovering around Chivis.

Chivis and Lucía have a talk in Manuel’s kitchen and while Lucha isn’t thrilled with the relationship between Manuel and Chivis, she does have some sympathy for what Chivis and her family going through and she’s committed to helping them. She gets a whiff of whatever Chivis is cooking and that gets the two of them another step closer to having a decent relationship.

Chivis goes back to the house to make sure when the feds show up someone will be there and they can get this “seizure” over with. Majo finds her there and the two of them make up. She said a lot of things she didn’t mean and she still thinks Chivis is the best mom in the world. She’s not going to abandon Chivis the way her dad did…but she isn’t coming back to live there. It’s better if she’s not near Vicente. Chivis understands.

Benji stops by Jorge’s to annoy him. OK, he comes by to look for Angie, which annoys Jorge. Then he goes down to the panadería for a coffee and tells Marge that he thinks he’s falling for Angie for real. Now that’s sure to annoy Jorge. It certainly annoys Marge. Benji thinks it’s best if they both forget there was ever a plan, but Marge isn’t sure she can trust him not to spill everything to Angie.

Angie stops by Jorge’s and gets the message that Benji was looking for her. She goes over to the panadería and finds Benji chatting with Juanito. She asks him not to leave messages with Jorge again. Juanito mentions that Marge was just there and Angie gets annoyed with Benji for talking to her. After she leaves, Juanito suggests Benji get a move on before Angie starts having feelings for Jorge again–especially now that they’re practically living with the Gallardos.

Poncho and Dom are not adjusting well to Stella’s enforced “greens only” diet. Ponco snuck a sandwich at the market and now they’re considering putting some sedatives in her salad and going out for tacos, but Dom is sure she’d still catch them.

Manuel and some tacos come over to see Chivis at the empty house. She’s in a good mood after making up with Majo and having that nice chat with Lucha. Manuel noticed the vacuum cleaner isn’t over at his house. Chivis says she’s got it well-hidden with all the rest of her treasures. (I’m just happy they remembered the vacuum cleaner!)

As if the tacos weren’t enough, Manuel also bought her some pretty earrings. He helps her put them on and they end up kissing…and then Cata walks in and catches them. I have a feeling she’s not going to let that go.

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.