Silvana sin Lana Week of 11/14/16 #80-83

Monday 11/14/16 #80

I don’t know what the rules of ethics are for canine psychologists, but Dr. Leonidas is way unethical for a human mental health provider. Manuel tries not to talk, then he gets stuck defending himself and Chivis, then he snaps out of it and reminds Stella they aren’t in a relationship and tells the doctor that he never asked for therapy.

Manuel gets both of them out of his office, but Stella comes back and wears him down with her begging. He was almost onto something when he said that helping her is pretty much the worst way he can help her, but Stella is the Energizer Bunny of emotional manipulation. He says he’ll help and he lets her hug him and hell if I even know what he actually agreed to.

Majo found a wedding dress she likes…she thinks…but she isn’t sure about her decision. She decides she does like the one she’s trying on, despite the asymmetrical back with lots of cutouts. And then the salesperson says its $8000.

Majo knows they don’t have that much and Chivis feels awful about it. When she shopped for her dress with Trini, money was no object. Majo doesn’t want her to worry about that. They’ll figure something out. Maybe she’ll just rent a dress. She just wants the two of them to pick it out together.

Lucha and Andres argue about Majo and whether or not she’s lying to him and whether or not he should trust her. I wish he’d consider why it’s so important to him to get Lucha’s approval on this and why she’s not going to give it to him. Mauro shows up mid-argument and Andres leaves.

Mauro also leaves. In the sense of, he breaks up with Lucha. He doesn’t want to be That Guy who’s always jealous and he can see that she still has a thing for Andres, so he’d rather break up with her now before she breaks his heart.

Las Villaseñoras discuss the dress dilemma. AJ listens to them going back in forth in the living room–have one made, buy off the rack, rent. He calls somebody named Nick, who is apparently the only person in Miami he didn’t rip off. He triumphantly announces to Majo that he’s got a dress for her. His dear friend Nicolas Fellini is going to give her one from his last collection. Once again, AJ’s the hero and it’s “Chivis who?”

Jorge was really bothered by AJ’s interrogation earlier. He talks to Manuel about it and Manuel agrees, he does not like AJ. He wants Jorge to let him know if AJ gets out of line–he’s not going to let AJ mess with his kids.

Jorge thinks his dad is overreacting. But he does wish there was some way to get Angie’s dad to like him. Manuel tells him to just be himself. Jorge teases Manuel about it being worse for him–AJ’s his competition, but to Jorge he’s just the suegro.

AJ helps Lupita with her math homework. And he’s good at it. I guess it’s just an understanding of probabilities that escapes him?

Chivis asks to speak to him in her room. She’s disturbed by his Perfect Dad act. Since when does he help with homework? Or take an interest in Majo’s wardrobe? Or walk the girls to school? He says after everything that happened, he’s changed too. I’m with Chivis–I don’t trust him. He promises he just wants to spend time with his family and he’s not going to keep pushing to get back together with Chivis.

Stella tells Dom that Manuel understands she’s depressed and he wants to help her. Not that he said it, but she could feel it in his hug. Poncho comes home after his latest prayer meeting…and he brought Génesis with him. (Dear costume department: buttons straining and a gaping placket on a woman’s blouse indicate poor fit. Using that as a way to purposely draw attention to her chest is cheap and tacky. Get this poor actress some clothes that fit!)

Génesis is going to be coming over to give Poncho some private tutoring about their worship group. She’s a fan of salad, speaks in a quiet voice when she’s not whispering to Poncho, and he brought home balsamic vinegar because he knows she likes it…Stella can’t stand her.

Génesis and Poncho want to pray before dinner. Génesis takes deep breaths after every line of her prayer and pops a button. So that’s where that cheap joke was heading. Stella takes her upstairs and leaves her to sew the button back on, but Poncho insists on checking on her. This gives Stella more time to gripe at Dom. Dom swears Stella’s jealous.

Andres messages Lucha, apologizing for getting her in “trouble” with Mauro. She tells him they broke up. And he smiles. Talk about a total lack of awareness, there, Andres. But oh, yeah, you’re just “friends.”

Poncho walks Génesis home and he’s not the only one who’s smitten. In fact, she totally wants to snog him, but she’s a little worried about what God’s going to think. Poncho mentions that whole “love your neighbor” thing and that convinces her. At least for a minute.

Then she’s worried about her dad finding out and Poncho promises not to say a word…but he’s already trying to suggest they go off somewhere private and get naked. Seriously, Poncho? Génesis calls a halt to that. They’re barely getting to know each other! She wants to pray before he leaves. It’s not the prayer he focuses on.

Meanwhile, Stella’s still complaining about Poncho having a thing for Génesis and Dom gets tired of listening to her. He screams at her that Poncho’s not her pet! Leave him alone!

Angie’s hanging out in Jorge’s room, watching some TV. She’s glad his dad is so much more relaxed than hers, because if they were at her house, they wouldn’t be able to hang out like this without her dad making a big deal out of it.

So what does Jorge do? Brings up her dad and that conversation they had earlier. Angie gets agitated. She says he’s like Majo–one day everything’s fine, and the next he’s all vulnerable–Jorge has to be careful with him. She doesn’t like to say this, but she thinks her dad’s behaving strangely.

AJ comes over with a bottle of wine and a bunch of indirectas about Manuel and his family and their relationships with Chivis and the girls. When he finally gets to the point, it’s to tell Manuel to back off because AJ’s there to be a father to his daughters and a husband to Chivis.

Tuesday 11/15/16

No episode – fútbol

Wednesday 11/16/16 #81

Manuel thinks that’s up to Chivis. AJ spouts a bunch of garbage about Chivis not being meant to work and how he’s going to give his family the life they deserve again. Manuel’s grossed out by AJ constantly calling them “my women” and he thinks all of AJ’s faux-politeness is just him being passive-aggressive.

Angie says it’s not that she doesn’t trust her dad, but so many things have changed. “Before” her dad never would have let her date someone like Jorge. Jorge wonders what’s going to happen if they all go back to their old life, but Angie says she isn’t going to stop loving him. Once you change inside, you don’t go back. *smoochies*

AJ did some redecorating in the dining room. Without asking Chivis’ opinion or permission. Trini and Majo think he’s the best! Chivis, not so much. And I’m with Chivis.

Manuel’s on the verge of getting AJ out of his house when AJ stops to ask if it’s true that Manuel named all the kids after ranchera singers. Oh, no, he’s totally not laughing, that’s just so populachera (common, vulgar, cheap) that he’s never actually known someone who’s done it. (DUDE! You are fixin’ to get yourself punched!)

Angie and Jorge start walking down the stairs and I really hope she heard some of that. She seems in a hurry to get AJ out of the house. As soon as the door shuts, Manuel says he can’t stand that guy! How could Chivis have married him?! Jorge’s glad she did or there wouldn’t be an Angie. I guess he’s got a point there.

Chivis confronts AJ about redecorating without her permission. But he wanted it to be a surpriiiiise and asking would have ruined it. Fine, he’ll ask next time. (Hey, creep, Chivis isn’t the bad guy here! This is her house! It infuriates me how everyone else seems to be falling for his schtick. If you’re thinking AJ’s not so bad and Chivis is overreacting…you might be an AJ and you might be pissing off the Chivis-es in your life. Just saying.)

Vicente studies. Ale distracts him. Pedrito walks in on them snogging on Jorge’s bed and tells them to get out–it’s time for him to go to sleep.

AJ made eggplant lasagna. It’s Chivis’ favorite. This makes her suspicious. She doesn’t like that he went over to talk to Manuel. Or the way he’s talking about how he can “help” the people in this neighborhood to “ascend.” The people of this neighborhood are doing just fine, thanks. He should worry about his own “ascension.” And from her griping AJ thinks he’s “got” her? (Anyone else think he’s going to rip off his new neighbors like he ripped off the old ones?)

Poncho gets home after dropping off Génesis and Stella makes a big jealous scene. Even Dom thinks she was talking to Poncho the way she used to talk about Manuel. He gives thanks to the Virgen that everything’s falling into place in this house! Although…he could still use a partner….

Vicente and Ale walk out to the van and take their sweet time talking about going to her parents’ time-share in Naples and being “friends with benefits” before she even gets into the van. As Vicente goes over to the driver’s side, he looks up and sees Majo watching from the balcony. Suddenly he doesn’t think they have time anymore for a “stop” on the way to Ale’s house.

AJ serves up dinner. Everyone fawns over him. They joke about what a bad cook Chivis used to be. Lupita at least has the decency to say Chivis is a great cook now. AJ leads them in prayer that doubles as re-asserting his place in the family while Chivis gapes.

As a “joke” Lucha sends Andres an article about a bride running off with a groom’s money. Vicente gets back from dropping off Ale and Lucha teases him about her. He’s still hung up on Majo, though, and teases Lucha for not getting Andres to fall for her and making this all so much easier. “Yeah, right, like the four of us were all going to hang out together and be friends.” She tells him Mauro broke up with her, though. As they start making plans for dinner, she gets a return “joke” from Andres–an article about a woman stopping a wedding from taking place.

Trini heads downstairs in the middle of the night to help herself to the last slice of cake from tonight’s dinner. She starts hearing noises and fakes a man’s voice to have a conversation with herself and try to scare away whoever or whatever is making that noise. She never finds out and scolds herself for getting scared. And then she turns around and the slice of cake is gone! Dun, dun, dun!

Jorge stops by Manuel’s room to talk about AJ and how he was behaving earlier. Manuel thinks they need to be careful with him. Jorge bugs him about having a thing for Chivis and he won’t let up until Manuel admits it. He likes that Manuel isn’t going to give up on Chivis, but he points out that it is going to make things weird. If Manuel marries Chivis and Jorge keeps dating Angie then Chivis would be his stepmother, but also his suegra and Manuel would be his dad, but also his suegro. Ha, ha.

Manuel kicks him out and starts knocking on the wall to Chivis. Chivis returns his knocks until she’s interrupted by Lupita. Good thing Manuel can hear her through the wall. Lupita just wanted some snuggle time and to harp on how much she likes having her dad around and she wants him to be around permanently, even if they get divorced. Lupita goes back to her room, where AJ is waiting.

Chivis goes back to knocking on the wall…but now Trini comes in. She hassles Chivis about forgiving AJ and remembering that she’s Catholic and she married in the Church, etc. She loudly announces she’s off to take off her makeup, but she won’t be long, so tell the neighbor so he can stop with the Morse code.

Dom goes upstairs to talk to Poncho about his sudden interest in religion. He’s worried Poncho’s just doing it to get a girlfriend. Poncho admits that he really does have a thing for Génesis. Stella listens at the door as he says he thinks everything is working out so he can forget Stella.

Stella busts in and rants at him for being just like Manuel–someone shows up and makes eyes at him and it’s Goodbye Stella! Dom and Poncho are both a little confused. Dom’s not entirely sure what that was about, but he can tell that Poncho’s crush on Génesis is upsetting Stella

There’s no big breakfast at the Villaseñóras this morning. Angie grabs herself a croissant and Lupita looks for the chocolate cake, but she can’t find it. Angie takes a look and she can’t find it in the refrigerator either. She offers Lupita her croissant…and it’s gone! Dun, dun, dun!

Thursday 11/17/16 #82

Vicente’s running the booth at the market and trying to study. First Poncho interrupts by shoving a pamphlet in his face, then Alejandra shows up. Chivis is working on putting an order together and sees him hugging Ale.

AJ heads to the panadería for croissants and Marge cannot help herself! She starts complaining about Angie stealing her boyfriend. Benito tries to tell AJ not to listen to her, but Marge won’t be deterred. They’re all the same, from Trini on down! The only thing “innocent” about Angie is her face–just like her mother! As soon as they got to this neighborhood, they started scooping up all the men! Benito sends her into the house.

He admits to AJ that yes the “stealing” of Jorge is true. (Really, Benito? After all your lectures?) AJ says he doesn’t really approve of the relationship, but it’s only temporary. As soon as they get back to their old life, Angie won’t even remember him and Marge can have her boyfriend back. (I hope that look on Benito’s face means he’s starting to understand that AJ may be a “gentleman” but he’s not a very good person.)

Benito is confused–how can they go back to their old house when it’s been sold. AJ says he’s going to get it back. He pays for his croissants and leaves. Now I’m not so sure about Benito’s look. It might have been “Trini’s really leaving.”

Chivis goes to the Gazebo for a chat with the Perpetually Annoyed Virgen. If by any chance, AJ’s change is genuine, then she thanks her. Vicente hates to interrupt, but he wanted to talk to her…about Majo of course. He’s in love with her. Chivis knows, she just can’t get involved. Majo’s a grown woman and she needs to make her own decisions. Vicente wants her to consider that if she doesn’t stop Majo she’s going to spend the rest of her life regretting that she married someone she didn’t love.

Trini goes to church to confess to Padre Sanchez that she lied to AJ about Chivis being in love with Manuel. He had no idea…and he shouts it out in the middle of the church. Good thing they’re alone. He doesn’t think God’s going to punish her for that, but two Hail Marys and an Our Father and she’s good to go. Trini brought him a pair of socks. Because she doesn’t like seeing his feet.

Chivis checks in with Manuel about AJ’s visit to his house. They’re both having the same experience with AJ–he’s outwardly “nice” but something’s off. Manuel is sure he knows something is going on between them, but as long as AJ keeps bugging him and leaves Chivis alone, he doesn’t mind. He hates to suggest it, but if it makes things easier for Chivis they can figure out how to keep their distance from each other, including with work stuff.

Oh, hell no! She’s not going to stop working at the market! That would be like proving that AJ’s right. She’d sooner give up the stuff that’s more likely to get them busted–the balcony talks, the knocking on the walls, the tacos and beer. She snuggles up close to show him why they need to keep working together…closely.

Majo and Andres look at the proof for a wedding invitation a friend is designing for them. Majo thinks it looks insipid, but she has no idea how to fix that and she feels bad asking for changes when this friend is doing the work for free. In fact, since it’s so late, she thinks they shouldn’t bother printing it, they should just send it out in email.

Andres wants to write their own vows, but Majo begs off. He’s disappointed, but ok. He tells her he’s off to class, and not to stress about the wedding (but you wanted to write your own vows…you don’t think that would have been extra stress?).

After he’s gone, she realizes he accidentally left his cell phone behind. He got a text message from Lucía. When he comes back in looking for it, she starts griping about him messaging Lucía and says it’s stupid that she has Santa Claus as her profile picture. “It’s Hippocrates, the father of medicine.” He’s laughing at her outrage like he can’t understand why she’d be upset. Majo warns him he’d better not invite Lucía to the wedding.

Trini stops by Benito’s and maybe, finally, he’s going to propose…but Sara comes in looking for sugar. Uh, the literal kind. They’re out at the house.

Rafa comes over to Chivis’ to talk to AJ about the “preliminary ruling” from the judge–no leaving the city, weekly check-ins, and nocturnal house arrest. The last one at least is made up and AJ likes the sound of it–it means Chivis can’t throw him out.

Angie comes downstairs, sees Rafa, and spills the beans about him coming on to Chivis. AJ is furious and physically throws Rafa out of the house. I don’t know if I entirely trust his anger, but he’s definitely looking like he overexerted himself. Angie apologizes for him finding out like that, but he needed to know. AJ vows that he’s not going to let anybody lay a hand on Chivis. They go to the panadería for ice cream

Stella finds Chivis in Manuel’s office and starts bugging her about AJ being back and how they’re getting back together, right? Chivis doesn’t want to talk about this with Stella and she says so multiple times, but you know Stella. She suggests Chivis see the therapist she and Manuel are going to–he’s helped so much with their relationship. Anyway, Chivis really wouldn’t want to break up her family for the neighbor, would she? And it would be such a shame if her husband caught her?

Sara’s cooking a large piece of beef. Trini comes in, leaving an apple on the kitchen table, and they argue about cooking it first then cutting vs. cutting it first, then cooking it. When Trini turns around, the apple is gone. Trini blames Sara! It must have been her last night with the chocolate cake, too!

Sara protests–how could it have been her if she was paying attention to what Trini was saying about cutting up the meat first…and when she turns to point to it, it’s gone. Now they’re both freaking out.

Poncho goes over to the church to show Génesis that he’s out of his brace…that means he’s got his hands free. She’s ok with a kiss, but reminds him they have to go slow, they’re not even dating. So he asks her to be his novia and she accepts. And, by the way, she’s not having sex with him until after the wedding.

Trini’s micromanaging Sara while she cleans. Allegedly God says work is supposed to make you tired. Sara wonders what God has to say about exploiting workers and Trini scolds her for blaspheming. Especially in this house, where they’re all practicing Catholics! In that case, Sara suggests she get a priest over here to bless the house. Trini’s still convinced Sara’s the one stealing food. Suddenly, they look down and there’s a rat. Um…ok, but I don’t think the rat made off with that entire piece of beef.

Majo goes over to confront Lucha about the text message she saw on Andres’ phone.

AJ goes to the market looking for Chivis. He finds Stella instead.

Friday 11/18/16 #83

Stella is so happy to meet AJ. They’re all like one big happy family at the market and she knows how difficult it’s been for Chivis since he’s been in jail. AJ gets all defensive about that being a mistake. Oh, Stella knows how it is. They catch the bad guys, but they let the really bad ones out, amirite? AJ says that’s exactly it. Stella invites him to have some ceviche, on the house, and talk some more.

Instead, AJ regales them with stories of his travels while he eats his ceviche. Stella offers him another round, so to speak, and AJ asks for oysters. While Dom prepares them, Stella starts explaining how she and Chivis aren’t super close. See, Stella was dating Manuel…until Chivis came along. He understands, right?

Dom tries to shut her up. He says it wasn’t quite like that. There were a lot of changes going on and Chivis’ arrival just happened to coincide with Manuel and Stella’s breakup.

Chivis runs for Manuel’s office to tell him that AJ is at the market!

Stella assures “Toño Pepe” that she’s going to tell him everything that happened while he was gone, but it’ll have to be a little at a time and not at the market. She sees Chivis and Manuel approaching and points them out to AJ.

He turns around to greet them and says he had nothing else to do, so he came to see where she works and meet her colleagues. He doesn’t know what she’s so freaked out about! He just had important stuff to talk to her about. Annoyed, Chivis takes him back to Manuel’s office.

Dom wants to know what Stella plans on telling AJ. Basically, everything. Dom looks sick.

AJ has important things to tell Chivis, but the first thing he wants to talk about is why Chivis never told him that Rafa was harassing her. She’d rather just forget about that, it was so unpleasant. She was barely able to talk to AJ in the first place and they were dependent on Rafa for information. Yes, she worked for him and he thought since he was her boss, he could hit on her. She doesn’t appreciate him asking if Manuel thinks the same thing.

AJ announces that he’s fired Rafa. Also, she can’t kick him out of the house because of the (fake) nighttime house arrest thing. I guess that’s all he had to say, since he’s off now to let her get back to work.

Lucha has no intention of discussing anything with Majo. She knows Majo and Andres are getting married, unlike Majo who doesn’t seem so sure. She throws it in Majo’s face that she knows Majo slept with Vicente. If she doesn’t like someone telling her the truth, then she’d better stay away from Lucha.

Poncho brings Génesis and Jonas to the market to spread the word. Poncho talks about how he was on a bad path and didn’t know real love but now that he’s closer to the Supreme Being, he knows what it is to only have eyes for one woman. He goes over and takes Génesis’ hand and Jonas’ “Praise be” as a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

Jonas pulls Poncho aside to talk to him and Poncho goes on and on about his great love. Génesis agrees, she feels it too. Jonas still thinks they need to slow it down! They both promise they’ll run this thing however Jonas wants. OK, he wants to meet Poncho’s family. Poncho invites him over for dinner tonight.

Trini and Sara are stranded on top of the dining room table, held hostage by the rat. Trini keeps trying to order Sara to kill it, but she does NOT get paid to do that and even if she did she wouldn’t!. Trini tries to send her to the panadería for Benito, but Sara’s not putting her feet on the floor for anything. They finally realize Trini’s phone is close enough to reach and call Benito for help.

Majo comes home to the bizarre spectacle of her grandma and Sara sitting on top of the table…and then she sees the rat and walks right back out the door, abandoning them!

When Benito shows up, the find out he has a rat phobia. They’re running out of room on the table! Benito tries calling Juanito.

The good news is, Juanito has no problem killing rats. The bad news is, nobody knows where the rat is or even if there’s more than one.

Angie is planning a bachelorette party for Majo at the salsódromo tonight. Jorge is sure Majo’s fresa friends will be terrified. Angie just laughs. Jorge suggests a stripper and he offers to call around and book one. He’ll even come with the guy to keep an eye on Angie. He’s gotta keep her in line, you know. (It’s only funny because he doesn’t mean it.) She won’t mention the stripper to Majo, but she figures it won’t be much of a surprise since everyone has strippers at their bachelor/ette parties. (Um…no…I remember booze…lots of booze…but no strippers.)

Jorge makes a crack about how religious they are and Angie reminds him she’s no prude–has he already forgotten those kisses the other day? They share a few more kisses and then Jorge asks her to marry him and Angie says yes.

Lupita’s looking online for a dress to wear to Majo’s wedding. Pedrito has opinions. Lupita wants him to wear the same color. He’s nervous about going as her date when he hasn’t met her dad yet. Lupita suggests a dinner so they can talk…but that’s going to be difficult with her parents getting divorced. Pedrito says he can always invite him over to play video games. Lupita thinks that’s a great idea!

Angie and Lupita come home and the alleged adults are still camped out in the dining room table waiting for Juanito to find and/or kill the rat/s. Since there’s no room left on the dining table, Angie and Lupita take the couch. They collectively decide that only on person can save them–Pedrito! Don’t ask me why.

Everyone shouts for Pedrito, he hears his name, he runs over, smashes up the kitchen and comes out with a plastic bag full of rat. “It wasn’t even that big.” Dude, quit trying to show it to everybody.

Manuel calls Poncho into his office. He’s worried that Poncho doesn’t seem all that interested in work lately and that’s not like him. Poncho talks about his new missionary activities and Manuel’s fine with that as long as it doesn’t interfere with work. Oh, Poncho wouldn’t let it do that, especially now that he’s just gotten together with Génesis. He tells Manuel how happy he is with her and that he’s even starting to forget Stella.

Chivis tells Manuel about the bogus nocturnal house arrest and Rafa getting fired. He’s annoyed that AJ showed up and was being buddy-buddy with Stella and Dom. He’s annoyed that Chivis says he was always like that–the life of the party. He even asks her if she’s falling in love with AJ again. Big NO to that!

He hates to pressure her, but he thinks maybe it’s time they tell AJ the truth about their relationship. I think he’s under the impression that will get AJ to back off? But Chivis knows he won’t. They’ve been married for too long and he’s got his habits. Well, it’s the only advice Manuel has. He warns her he’s going to fight for his rights. For example, the right to smoochies.

He wishes AJ had walked in right then. Maybe the next time he kisses her, it’ll be in front of her house. Chivis just laughs. Manuel wants to take a selfie, but Chivis won’t let him. As she’s wrestling for the phone she calls him “mi amor” and he does an imitation of Trini.

Stella goes to Dr. Leonidas to complain about That Woman! She gets so irritated every time she sees her! No, she’s not talking about Chivis, she’s talking about Génesis. But they’re exactly the same! Because Poncho said he loved her and now he’s in love with Génesis and it’s just like Manuel leaving her for Chivis. And isn’t the doctor listening, she’s not JEALOUS that Poncho’s with someone. Riiiiight.

He tries to convince her that maybe she’s falling for Poncho, but Stella gets so upset that she walks out on him.

Lucha and Andres have coffee on campus and she tells him the very funny story about Majo coming over to her house. Eh, he tells her to just ignore Majo, but he’s curious what Lucha said to her. Just that Andres was honest and going to be faithful to her. Andres feels guilty because he hasn’t told Majo about kissing Lucha, but she thinks it doesn’t count. Still, he wants to start with a clean slate.

Finally, some wedding dress action! But no Chivis after all. Instead Trini sips champagne and scolds the designer for saying Majo has put on weight. (How would he know?) Majo talks about her “diet” which basically consists of not eating much. (No wonder she can’t get those brain cells working.) Nicolas gives her another dress to try on. In the dressing room her phone beeps. Vicente sent a text asking if she’s changed her mind yet.

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.