La Fan Monday 2/13/17 #20


We return to Vale’s bathroom, where Lucas is still recovering from the effects of his “zipper problem.” His words, not mine. No, he does not want Vale to take a look. No, he does not want Vale to call a doctor. He doesn’t want anyone to know!

Lucas hobbles out of Vale’s bathroom in a robe. She gave him some cream that should help–she had Tomás use it when he got hit by a fútbol in the um…. Lucas says a ball’s not the same as a zipper. Vale figures it must be kind of a common thing to have happen? Well, not to Lucas! He kindly requests that they please talk about something else.

Eloisa comes to the door with a giant teddy bear that a messenger left for Vale and ohhhhhh, has she come at a bad time? Vale tries to tell her it’s not what it looks like, but come on, don’t burst Eloisa’s bubble! She tells Vale there’s a card and Vale thanks her. They’ll talk later.

Vale thanks Lucas for the bear, but he didn’t send it. Her fan did. Lucas grimaces. “Does it hurt that much?” “Of course it does!” I don’t think he’s talking about his injury.


Nicolas meets Gabe, Salma’s “friend.” And Gabe meets Salma’s “friend” with no name. Nicolas wants her to get rid of Gabe and conveniently, he has a meeting to get to. Salma tries to get him to stay. She even offers to cook for him, but Gabe turns her down. He reminds her to call him if she needs anything, so he’s not completely clueless, but somehow he didn’t pick up on the “DON’T LEAVE ME WITH THIS GUY” vibe.

Nicolas plays with one of Rod’s games while he’s waiting for Salma to get him some food. He laughs that she’s still the queen of takeout. But why is she handing him a cold container? “It’s sushi.” What’s he supposed to eat it with? Why is it cold? And raw? “IT’S SUSHI!” Huh. Nicolas isn’t exactly a fan, but he’s not going to waste food. He spears his rolls and chows down.

Salma thinks it’s “crazy” that he’s there. But not that he escaped from prison? Eh, that too. He says he couldn’t stand living in that hell any longer. Salma gets curious–is it really so bad? Because she was in prison once on a novela and she didn’t think it was sooooo bad. Nicolas moves over to sit by her on the couch and informs her that prison is nothing like her novelas. Prison changed him. Being in there turned him into someone else.

Salma keeps trying to scoot away from him on the couch and he keeps scooting closer, eventually sitting on her skirt.

Nicolas is really starting to like sushi. Damn, Salma’s got it all, doesn’t she? House, job, car. Meanwhile, he’s got nothing. (At Casa 5ft, we pause to have a conversation about how difficult it must be to deliver a line while you’re trying to swallow a mouthful of sushi. And complain about them not letting Jonathan Islas and Gabriel Valenzuela both rock their curls.)

Nicolas complains about how Salma abandoned him, but she says he did it first–the minute he found out she was pregnant with Rodrigo. Nicolas sees a picture and gets all excited about how Rodrigo looks just like him. “You wish!” And he’s huge! “Well, you know kids grow, right? He’s grown. He’s an hombrecito. He’s happy.”

Nicolas asks if she’s happy. “I’m not discussing that with you!” She begs him to go away. She’s a public figure, the press is always around. What does she have to do to get rid of him. Nothing…he just needs some money. And he wants to see his son. “Money, yes, but not my son!” (RTFO, Salma! That fool better back off!)


Miguel doesn’t usually drink and last night he had way too much, so no, he can’t remember what happened last night. He tries to get Miriam to tell him, but she says there are some things that can’t be told, they have to be remembered. Miguel looks incredibly uncomfortable.

At the café, Carlos L is helping Eloisa behind the counter. She tells him he can’t stay in that back room. It’s damp, there’s a bunch of stuff in it. That guy she was with yesterday–that’s the Carlos she was looking for. He thinks she’s abandoning him, but she says they can still be friends–he just has to keep to his place.

Miguel comes in and Eloisa’s surprised–didn’t he come home last night? What happened? Miguel says that’s the problem–he can’t remember.

Miriam has no problem telling Jessica that nothing happened. They kissed and he fell asleep. And Jess and Diego? Not even a kiss. Just a few beers and then she spent the night at a friend’s place. As if this wasn’t infuriating enough, Jess suggests Miriam do what they do in the novelas–tell him they had sex and get pregnant later. Miriam makes a disgusted face. I scowl.

Eloisa keeps pestering Miguel for information, but he seriously does not remember what happened. Rather than being alarmed, when Miriam gets there Eloisa conspiratorially asks her if SHE can tell her or if she lost her memory too. I scowl.

Eloisa thinks she’s getting a bad deal here. The party was her idea and now no one will tell her what happened. Miriam complains that being friends with her boyfriend’s mom is complicated. I glare. I think Miguel’s listening in as Eloisa tells Miriam to just spill it already.

Fine, nothing happened. He fell asleep, he woke up in her bed, and she didn’t tell him anything which is why he’s been so nervous all day.

Miguel punctuates her statement by dropping a bowl. Per Miriam he’s upset because he doesn’t know if anything happened or not. I glare harder. Eloisa laments that her son moves too slowly–not like his father. My head bursts into flames and I start shooting fireballs out my eyes. Miriam whines that either he’s moving waaaaay too slow or he doesn’t like her. Fireball! Fireball! Fireball!

Miguel looks anguished.

He cracks and confronts Miriam. What happened last night?! She smiles and asks what he would have wanted to happen. “NOTHING, since I can’t remember.” She tells him to chill, nothing happened. (OK, but I’m still not happy with her.) But she’s dying for something to happen because she loves him. (That makes 4.)

Carlos vs. Carlos

Carlos Z and Ignacio have coffee. Carlos is determined to get a divorce, he’s got a new lease on life since he found Eloisa again, he knows Felicitas is going to make it difficult but he’s not afraid of her. She’s bad, but he’s worse.

Carlos Lopez comes over asking to speak to Mr. Zubizarreta’s chauffeur. Carlos leaves Carlos hanging for a bit while he figures out what to do. He finally tells Natalia to show him in and tells Ignacio to follow his lead. Carlos tells Carlos he’s here to talk about Eloisa. “Their” Eloisa.

Carlos tries to get Carlos to go away and not bother him at “work.” Oh, Ignacio, aka “Mr. Zubizarreta,” doesn’t mind…after all, Carlos is like one of the family. Carlos tries to explain that Mami led Eloisa to him and he hasn’t felt this way about a woman for a long time, so Carlos needs to back off. Carlos tries to get his “boss” to take a hike, but Ignacio’s having too much fun with this. Carlos tells Carlos that HE’s the one who needs to back off, quit trying to come between Carlos and Eloisa, and not show up there again or he’s going to find out who Carlos is. We should be so lucky.


The boys meet on the fútbol field and check in about their respective moms. Rod’s sorry about Vale losing the baby. He asks if Tomás was looking forward to having a sibling. Tomás evades the question. Vale’s still with Lucas and every day he likes him less. Rod agrees–he’s bad, he seems kind of stupid, must be because he’s an actor. (Hey!) Tomás reminds him his mom’s an actor, too. “That’s why I’m saying it.” Tomás thinks his mom deserves someone who loves her and that’s NOT Lucas.

Tomás and Rod part ways after practice. Nicolas goes over to introduce himself to Rodrigo as a “friend” of his mother’s. He critiques his high-five technique. He claims he hasn’t seen Salma in a while, not since before she was famous. Oh, no, he never met Rod’s father. Rod says he died when Rod was young–he wishes someone would talk to him about his dad.


Benicio wastes too much time gloating and asking Diego why he’s quitting, which gives Adriana time to come over and demand that Diego talk to her. She grabs his letter of resignation out of Benicio’s hand and tells Diego to come to her office.

After dealing with a phone call involving actual work, Adriana turns her attention back to Diego. Why didn’t he have the guts to tell her he was quitting instead of going to Benicio? If he wants to quit, he’s going to have to say it to her face. Diego says he has to get away from this company…and her.

Adriana blames herself. She’s been harassing him, she lost control, she called him in the middle of a party. She can’t believe herself! Diego says he doesn’t mind her calling him or getting him to come to her office every five minutes. He likes it. That’s why he has to leave. He has to avoid temptations.

He begs her not to talk to him with her boquita parada (plump lips) or he might…. He has to leave. He has to quit. Well, too bad, Adriana won’t accept his resignation. He needs the job and the company needs him. So from now on he’ll be on a different floor, far away from her.

Adriana’s glad Diego decided to stay. “You pretty much made me.” Anyway, she’d also like him to try to stay away from Benicio. She’s embarrassed to have to admit this, but it was her dad who sent those guys. He swore they weren’t supposed to hit Diego, things just got out of hand. She promises neither her dad nor Benicio are “those kind of people.” He gives her a pitying, disbelieving look.

Benicio comes storming into Adriana’s office to complain that she didn’t get rid of Diego. Adriana says she changed him to a different department. Benicio tells her it’s not enough–she has to get him out of her life! (You’re not the boss of her, Benicio!)

Diego is trying to fix a thing in the room of things that need to be fixed with stuff with wires. Felicitas sneaks up on him. Even I jumped. She wants another session. She can tell he’s avoiding her…why? (OK, news flash: that question does not require answer! Because NO, that’s why!) Diego says he met a girl he likes. Felicitas gets a kick out of that, but it’s ok, she doesn’t mind sharing. *barf*

After yesterday’s fake flooding, Adriana comes out of her bathroom to find that her ceiling is legit leaking.

Felicitas is still hanging around in the room of mechanical doohickeys. Diego would like to work alone, please. Blah, blah, blah, she’s got the hots for him. Yeah, yeah, we know. Diego gets a call over the intercom to go to personnel.

Diego wanders into Adriana’s office. “Did you really need to flood your office to get to see me again?” Adriana swears she didn’t do it! Another maintenance dude with a tank top and big guns comes out of her bathroom and Adriana tells Diego she’s replaced him. (Dude. That’s cold.)

“What does that mean?!” It means there’s a leak and he’s fixing it. He’s a licensed plumber. “Oh, sure, and you just had to pick a muscular one! You can’t just be letting anyone into your office!” Adriana offers to let him see Muscle Guy’s license, but Diego doesn’t need to. Muscle Guy can take a hike. If anyone’s going to fix Adriana’s pipes, it’s “Papi.” (*snort*)

Adriana agrees. Muscle Guy can go. Diego tells her this is pointless–she can’t do without him.

It’s not long before he’s got the leak fixed. And better than her “stripper” would have, he notes. Adriana doesn’t get it. Well, the guy was really muscular. “Really? I didn’t notice.”

Diego says he’s an expert in cañeria (plumbing). But seriously…did she break it? Just to get him around again? Adriana says she didn’t, and to prove it he can now get back to his regular job, away from her.

Diego said he tried, but she’s like an imán (magnet) to him. He’ll go if she wants him to, but if she tells him to stay, they’re making love right now.


Vale helps Lucas limp into the studio. He insists he’s going to be fine. He’s a professional. His voice cracks. A couple of PAs come over to tell Vale they’re all there for her. (This is really going to suck if they find out she lied.) And then Vale’s fan appears with a giant…card? Lucas tries to have him thrown out, but Gabe stops him. Pablo is the nephew of the head of the General Manager of the studio. From now on he’s Vale’s assistant.

Lucas thinks that’s absurd. Pablo doesn’t! He’s el fan de la fan. Gabe reminds him about the nephew thing and Vale says she really could use some help. (Vale, psst, I believe the phrase you’re looking for is “If I have an assistant, I can devote more time to you.”)

Pablo explains how it was all his idea. He came to visit his uncle, he saw Vale, and he thought “Why not make a fan club for La Fan?” And that’s how he got the idea for El Vale Fans. And since Vale is going through such a difficult time (Vale makes an “Is this story ever going to go away?” face) he thought “Why shouldn’t the fan of la fan be the assistant to the assistant?” He warns Lucas he’s not leaving and Lucas starts limping towards his dressing room. Gabe tells Pablo he’ll take care of it.

In the middle of an argument about how Lucas doesn’t want Vale’s fan hanging around her, Pablo comes in with coffee. For Vale. Which she doesn’t drink. He walks right back out to get her an herbal tea, leaving Lucas bereft of caffeine.

Lucas blames Gabe. This must have been his idea, to separate him from Vale. Gabe swears he got a call from the station manager. He’s just following orders. And hey, he doesn’t like it any more than Lucas does. Lucas complains that Pablo follows her around all the time giving her little gifts, flowers, peluches (stuffed animals)! Gabe reminds Lucas it’s the same way Vale was with him.

“Vale never gave me a peluche!” Lucas pouts. Gabe asks if he’s just upset that someone else is interested in Vale. Lucas says it’s not someone, it’s someones. Gabe: “Don’t you think Vale deserves for a lot of men to be interested in her?” (Um, not if they’re all going to behave like you two. Ain’t nobody got time for that.)

Vale’s starting to feel a little smothered by Pablo following her around and asking if she needs anything constantly. They meet up with Jessica and she introduces Jess as her friend and makeup artist. And Pablo is…wait for it…her fan! She and Jessica cackle, but Pablo very seriously adds that he’s also the president and founder of El Vale Fans. Which has its own hand sign. Which looks like two peace signs.

Jess loves it. Vale says Pablo’s also her assistant now. Speaking of…she asks him to go tell Lucas they shoot in 10 minutes and take him a painkiller and a bottle of water. Pablo does not move, so he’s still standing there when Vale explains to Jess that Lucas had a little zipper accident. Dude. Do not be saying that in front of Pablo! And did I mention he keeps calling Vale “mi reina”? I’m with Lucas–he needs to cut that out. It’s creepy.

Lucas is screaming at Gabe that he’s not scared of him and certainly not of Pablo. He’s the galán around here! The star! So Gabe had better show some respect. Gabe reminds him the relationship is a lie–as soon as the novela is over, so is the relationship!

Pablo hears the whole thing from the hallway. He comes in and angrily gives Lucas his 10-minute warning on behalf of his queen. And why didn’t Vale come herself? Because that’s what she has Pablo for. Pablo walks back out and shuts the door. Lucas tells Gabe things are not going to end well with him and this Pablo guy! Gabe reminds him Pablo is the station manager’s nephew.

Pablo realizes he forgot to hand over the water. He comes back in with that and the pain pills, for Lucas’…accident. Yes, Pablo knows, but he’d rather not discuss it because it gives him…. “¿Impresión?” (shock, distress) Gabe supplies. Pablo agrees. Impresión.

Jess hopes the zipper incident isn’t going to cause any problems. She and Vale quickly ward off bad luck, “¡Cancelado! ¡Cancelado! ¡Cancelado! ¡Cancelado!” Jess asks if anything, um…? Vale says nothing happened, but it doesn’t bother her. She’s sure when the time is right it’s going to be perfect. She’s still on that kick of not believing he really loves her.

Jess tells her to cut that out. Vale’s a mujerón en toda la extensión de la palabra (an impressive woman in the fullest sense of the word). Vale is living her dream and she should enjoy it. Meanwhile, Jess is losing Diego. “Don’t get mad, but you never actually had him.” Maybe there’s somebody out there better for her.

Pablo comes into Lucas’ dressing room, purposely bumping into Lucas. By the time Vale gets there, Lucas tells her the situation is becoming unbearable! Pablo suggests Lucas take a day off. He can arrange it with his uncle. No thanks. Lucas would rather stay and guard his job. And his love. Vale beams at him.

Lucas is…not doing so good…but he’s a professional, so he’s ready to shoot. Learned his lines and everything. Pablo stops Vale before she can go to the set with Lucas to tell her he heard something terrible…he wasn’t sure if he should say anything…but he feels like he has to…Lucas is lying to her. He’s going to dump her as soon as the novela is over.

He heard Lucas talking to Gabe and he’s sure about what he heard. “He” said as soon as shooting is over, Lucas won’t be her boyfriend anymore. He thinks it’s heartless–she just lost a baby! Vale asks for a minute alone.

Salma shows up to work and isn’t in the mood for any crap from Lucas, but he needles her about her new “boyfriend.” Salma insists their relationship is real–she got tired of waiting around for Lucas. He says he knows it’s all for the press. “Look who’s talking!” Besides, Salma’s doing this for herself because Salma needs someone who really loves Salma and that’s Agustín. So, yes, it’s over with Lucas for good…but if he wants her back, he can fight for her luuuuuuurve.

Justin comes over, snarking about whether they’re planning on gracing his set anytime soon.

Gabe comes into Lucas’ dressing room to get Vale. He notices she’s upset and tells her he’s there for her…and Tomás. Uh huh. And he’s telling her this why? Oh…just so she’ll know.

Lucas confronts Pablo in the hallway, but Pablo confronts him right back–he heard Lucas talking with Gabe about the fake relationship and he’s already told Vale.

Vale sniffs Lucas’ costumes and cries. Pablo comes to check on her. He feels awful for telling her, but she needs someone who really loves her–and that’s not Lucas. But Vale loves him, he’s her dream guy, she had so many hopes. Pablo says he’s been talking to his uncle and she can have a great career at the station.

Vale doesn’t want that. She just wanted her love story with Lucas. And now that seems impossible.

Lucas finds Vale in his dressing room when he’s done shooting. He tells her the painkillers helped. Why didn’t she come to the set? Vale says she was busy. He asks if she’s ok and she tells him she’s just tired. Lucas asks for the truth.

OK, Pablo said he heard something–when the novela is over, so is the relationship. Vale’s sure he heard wrong, though. Lucas wouldn’t have said something like that, right?

Lucas says Pablo heard correctly. When the novela is over, she won’t be his novia anymore. He gets down on one knee, whips out a bigass ring and says she’s going to be his wife.

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.

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3 years ago

Kat, “Ouch” was the perfect title since it applied to many of the plots and not just Lucas’ “miss-zip”. How long will he be limping around? Ha!

I like Pablo who is not afraid to have Vale’s interest at heart and tell the truth. Here is hoping Lucas is so enamorado at the end that this proposal ends up being legit.