La Piloto Wednesday 3/08/17 #2


The two soldiers who followed Yolanda to the bathroom call for backup.

DEA Albert calls his guy at the gate to remind him to keep an eye out for Zulima. Gate guy’s still waiting.

Yolanda takes the suitcase full of cash and stashes it above the ceiling tiles just before a female soldier comes to unlock the door and pull her outside for a pat-down. Meanwhile the other two and the dog search the bathroom.

In the hallway, Yolanda says she just got there, she’s got a purse and a suitcase inside, nothing in the suitcase besides her clothes, and she didn’t mean to lock the door, it just locked by accident. One of the other soldiers comes out with the suitcase and the purse and the female soldier searches the purse. She finds a small bunch of dollars and says the dog must have overreacted. (Wait, so…it’s a money-sniffing dog? That’s really a thing?)

They walk off and Yolanda immediately goes back in to grab the other suitcase, which seems like a terrible idea. ¿Y que crees? The money’s gone.

Yoli calls Zulima to yell at her for not telling her there was cash in the bag. Zulima mentions “orders” but she doesn’t explain. Yoli just needs to get that suitcase to the hotel–but she can’t. See above re: crooked soldiers. Zuli freaks out and says Yolanda just got her killed. She hangs up the phone without giving Yolanda any more information or instructions and starts praying in the airplane bathroom.

DEA Albert and his buddy from the gate go driving down the road. Buddy says Zulima never left the airport. Alberto can’t figure out why, if that suitcase was supposed to go to John Lucio. Buddy suggests that maybe she handed it off to the other stewardess (hey, dude, it’s 2014, “flight attendant”) but she never left either. “Yolanda Cadena,” Albert says with an “Aw, crap!” look on his face.

Yolanda, out of her flight attendant duds and down to one suitcase, hops into a taxi.


Luis, AKA Gamba, is getting nervous about his money. John warns him it’s going to piss off the Cartel de las Sombras if anything happens to him. Gamba finds that hilarious–does the Cartel de las Sombras even exist? Not that he cares. How exactly does John suggest they settle this. John says the money is on the way–when has he ever let them down?

Yolanda gets to the hotel and into the room and ignores Gamba’s “Hey, baby” routine. Money. Right…it got stolen at the airport. Gamba flips out, but Yolanda keeps trying to explain and that distracts him long enough for John to attack the other guy in the room, take his gun, and start shooting at Gamba.

Gamba scurries out of there and John knocks the other guy out. He tells Yolanda to come with him and they jump off the balcony into the pool. (Hey! She’s not wearing heels!)

Gamba’s guys go after John and Yoli, but they’re apparently terrible shots. John and Yoli scramble out of the pool and start running through the hotel. One of Gamba’s guys catches up to them at the kitchen and Yolanda grabs a sauté pan and whacks him when he comes through the door. John beats him the rest of the way and takes his gun.

More running, outside now. They steal a taxi. Gamba’s guys are really, really bad at this whole “shooting” thing. Yolanda’s trying to tell John about the money, but he just hands her a gun and tells her to start shooting. She says she doesn’t know how, but she can’t be any worse than the other guys. In fact, she ends up shooting out one of their tires. Gamba has a serious tantrum, complete with foot stomping.


John eventually stops the taxi, but he insists Yolanda’s coming with him. She’s gotta replace the $5M she lost. Yes, Yolanda–five. Million. And I guess they weren’t such bad shots after all because somebody got John in the side. He makes a phone call….

John and Yolanda find a closed bar or restaurant while John explains to his brother Oscar…well, everything that happened in the last five minutes. He tries to defend Yoli, saying at least she showed up, even if she didn’t have the money, and she says she’s good at first aid, which is a good thing because Gamba’s guys shot him.

John’s plan now is to not die and take a commercial flight out of there–Gamba will be looking for a little plane. John swears they won’t recognize him at the airport. “You already know why.” (But I don’t…and I’d like to…spill it, John!)

He tells Oscar to arrange things with Zequi. He’s at that club they had closed down that one time. Oscar says he’ll get everything set up.

While he’s been having this conversation, Yolanda has been pulling chairs off tables and getting John to lie down. When he gets off the phone she asks how he knows Zequi. Welll…Zequi’s his partner. And John is sort of…the owner of Centro América Air. “As they say…I own you.” Yolanda gets down to the messy business of dealing with a gunshot wound minus any actual medical knowledge, tools, or anesthesia. (So…is it too early to ask for a raise?)

CAA Office

Zequi can’t believe Zulima entrusted this job to the newest employee! And this business about the money getting stolen? How? Half the people at that airport work for them! He’s going to get back every cent she stole.

But for now, he’s going on the run, because he does NOT want to be here when Oscar comes to get revenge for John’s death.

The cell phone on his desk starts ringing. *gulp* As soon as Zequi answers, Oscar asks how hard it is to deliver a suitcase?! He doesn’t want to hear Zequi’s excuses–they’ll talk about it later. For now, he needs Zequi to get John on the next flight to Mexico. He doesn’t care how! Take care of it, talk to his stewardess, and do it right this time! “What stewardess?” Yolanda Somethingorother.

Zulima calls Lizbeth while she’s out lounging by the pool with Amanda and Olivia, talking about Amanda getting stood up by the copilot. (You got lucky, Amanda.) She tells her Zequi needs a huge favor. Someone is trying to kidnap one of their executives and she needs Lizbeth to get “them” back to Mexico. “Them” because Yolanda’s with him.

Lizbeth is waaaay confused. Why not call the cops? Zulima says the cops are in on it and Team Sobrecargo are the only ones who can help. (I am both cracking up at Zulima’s story and completely confident they can do it.)


DEAlbert and his guys bust into a warehouse full of Gamba’s guys and start shooting. They don’t find Gamba, but they get that other guy who was in the hotel room. Albert wants to know where John is and the guy says he’s probably off in some motel screwing that messenger. “What messenger?”

The guy says someone was supposed to be bringing John $5M. Alberto doesn’t see how, when he was having every exit watched. How did they get $5M out of the airport?

From what the guy’s told them, Albert figures Yolanda must be trying to help John get out of Medellín. But they’ve got no money and there’s a cartel looking for them, so how…Centro América Air!


Yoli’s done all she can for John, but he’s refusing to go to a hospital, for obvious reasons. He tells her to just talk to him. So she goes back to explaining what happened with the money. Zulima said they were going to kill her, so she figured she’d dar la cara (show her face, take responsibility).

John starts sitting up and Yoli backs away. He thinks she’s got guts, but she still owes him. He proposes a deal–if she helps him get out of here alive, he’ll give her plenty of time to pay. Yolanda wants some details, but before he can answer, Lizbeth comes knocking on the door of the club.

Yolanda lets her in. She brought a uniform and while Yoli changes in the bathroom, Lizbeth asks her about this whole “kidnapping” story. Because it sounded weird, but he does have a gunshot wound. Yolanda’s surprised that Zuli said he was kidnapped. She agrees–it’s weird. Olivia sticks her head in the door and says the van’s waiting for them.

Zequi calls and gets one of the ticket agents to set up John’s flight.

In the van, Olivia and Amanda are giggling over John. Amanda leans forward in the seat and asks what happened. John quips that it’s not easy being a pilot. (I note that all of Team Sobrecargo is perfectly coiffed and made up.)

There’s a police checkpoint up ahead, but John tells their driver to just keep going. He hands the soldier who looks into the van one of his business cards: J. Lucio, Relaciones Publicas. “You know that card is worth a lot, right?” The soldier nods and waves them through.


Team Sobrecargo walk in with John in a wheelchair.

Gamba knows this is John’s only way out, so he’s got his guys all over the airport, looking for him.

Lizbeth goes on ahead to do pre-flight stuff while the ticket agent hands over all of John’s paperwork, like Zequi asked him to do.

Yolanda says she’ll join them as soon as she buys a present for her aunt. John gives her a warning that she’d better be on that plane later. Amanda and Olivia get him the rest of the way to the plane.

Zequi gets word that John’s in the lounge. They need to make sure John makes it to the parking lot. He sends Zuli to make the arrangements while he, uh…takes care of something else.

The creep was going to ditch her, but someone stops him before he can leave.

I don’t know where Yolanda was going, but Gamba sees her and drags her into one of the gift shops. In the back hallway, he tries to get her to tell him where John is, but Alberto walks into the empty shop. Toño, Gamba’s guy, tries to tell him they’re closed, but Alberto takes him out. When Gamba goes out to see what happened, Alberto beats on him as well. Yolanda makes a run for it with Alberto, and Gamba starts shooting.

At the departure gate, John hears the shots and tells Amanda and Olivia to keep going.

Alberto and Yolanda run right out the door where a DEA van just pulled up. The agents get into a shootout with Gamba and Toño. When it’s over, Gamba has gotten away and Toño and Alberto’s buddy are both dead.

Zulima calls to check on Lizbeth. She’s furious that Yolanda hasn’t gotten onto the plane yet. It’s Lizbeth’s job to know where everyone is! Lizbeth could’ve been 10x snottier to Zulima and I would have been ok with it, because seriously, things have gone so far outside the usual job description! Also, she’s short-staffed because Alberto isn’t there yet either. She doesn’t think their VIP passenger is doing so great.

Out front, an over-eager young soldier is questioning Alberto and Yolanda. He can’t believe Yolanda didn’t know that the guy who got away was Luis Gamba. One of the biggest narcos around. Alberto asks him to please let her go and he can answer all his questions. The DEA agent standing with them gives the soldier the nod.

Once Yoli’s out of the way, Alberto can flash his real id and explain that he’s undercover and they couldn’t tell him before. OK, so Agent Mejia here is looking for John Lucio. They ask the soldier to go deal with the press while Alberto asks the DEA agent to send him the photos off the dead agent’s cell phone–there’s supposed to be pictures of John in there. Also, he needs to get things ready at the airport in Tres Fuegos.

In the plane, Yolanda’s lipstick is perfect again and she tells the other flight attendants what happened outside. Alberto arrives and looks a little too long at John, sitting in the front seat. Yolanda goes up to ask Alberto what they wanted to know. He says they kept repeating the same questions about how he didn’t know this famous narco, until they let him go. Yolanda thanks him.

Lizbeth gets on the PA and apologizes for the wait, but they’re now ready to take off.

En route

Zequi calls Zulima and says there’s been a change of plans. She needs to get “the package” to a ranch. The police are surrounding the airport. She remembers which door to use, doesn’t she? Zulima’s angry that he’s ditching her like this, but ok.

Zequi didn’t have a choice. Oscar’s got him at the ranch. Zequi doesn’t like Oscar talking to him like an employee. They’re partners. Ah, but Zequi’s his brother’s partner, not his. So if they’re going to get along, Zequi had better show him some respect.

Alberto checks on John and asks Amanda to bring him some water. He continues down the row, handing out sleep masks.

John grabs Yolanda as she walks by and tries to get some details about what happened back at the airport. She says if it wasn’t for the guy who jut stopped to talk to him she’d be dead–thanks for asking. John grabs her before she can leave and asks her for water. (I think what he really needs is an antibiotic and some painkillers, but what do I know.)


They finally land in Tres Fuegos and yeah, John’s running a fever and still bleeding.

Alberto goes out front, where Agente Ortega meets him to smirk at his flight attendant uniform and hand him a gun. Alberto’s hoping to be done with this gig tomorrow. Everything’s ready, just like he asked for. Alberto gets on the walkie and tells everyone to be on the lookout for a passenger in a wheelchair. He tells Ortega he’s sure John’s the passenger he saw on the plane–there was no wheelchair and no oxygen tank on the manifest.

Nobody out front is seeing anything…but the pilots and the other flight attendants are coming out and still no John.

Yolanda’s waiting inside with him. Zulima shows up and says she’s here for John and Yolanda can go. Uh, not according to John, she can’t! He waves his gun for extra emphasis. He tells them both to shut up and get him out of there. (Oh yeah, big man with a gun…dude, if you weren’t already sitting down, you’d fall over.)

Out front, Alberto changes the plan. He tells everyone to be on the lookout for a car, an escarabajo rojo (red beetle). Zulima’s car.

A box truck parks by Zulima’s car and the driver lets Zulima, John, and Yolanda out of the back. Zulima gets John into the car and for whatever reason Zulima gives Yolanda the keys and tells her to drive.

Series Navigation<<Previous: El Gran Estreno de La Piloto Tuesday 3/07/17 #1Next: La Piloto Thursday 3/09/17 #3 >>

Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.