La Piloto Monday 3/13/17 #5

Miscellaneous appetizers

Yolanda has a too-long shower while her landlady’s waiting for the bathroom. Hey, she’s gotta think about hot John teaching her how to fly and hot Albert asking her out for dinner.

At CAA, Alberto passes on a watch he filched from Inés’ office. The security guy doesn’t think this is nearly impressive enough. Alberto suggests maybe the really good stuff is in Zequi’s office.

He gets the key from Security Guy, bugs Zequi’s phone, checks out some files.

Arley’s hanging out in front of the flight board when Amanda walks by. He stops her to tell her she’s pretty…and ask her name…and hold her hand too long…and ask for her number…and change his mind and give her a phone instead, so he can call her. (Dude…you’re hot, but you’re creepy. Cut that out.)

The mole

In the locker room, Lizbeth is stressing over her first job as “messenger.” She’s making a delivery in New York. She can’t stop thinking about getting caught. Yolanda tells her to chill and not call down trouble.

Olivia says she’s anxious too…about her sort-of boyfriend Roberto. They’ve been dating for a long time, but he moved to Spain. She’s seeing him today. Olivia’s phone rings and she hugs Lizbeth and goes out to see him. Yolanda gives Lizbeth a blessing and patada (kick) for luck.

When she goes into her locker, there’s a garment bag and a box for her.

At the ranch, Arley collects his big stacks of cash for offing Gamba. He doesn’t put a lot of stock in it, but he wants Oscar to know that Gamba said there was a mole at Centro América.

That would be one Dave/Alberto, who’s busy chatting up Yolanda and noticing her new phone. It’s pretty. Like her. Yolanda’s surprised to hear him say that since the rumor around the terminal is he’s gay.

To Arley, Gamba was desperate and willing to say anything, but to Oscar, if he thought he was dying that makes it true.

Alberto laughs at the rumor and asks what Yolanda thinks. She has no idea and she’s pretty much “live and let live.” Like her grandma used to say–cada quien haga de su vida un papalote (we all make kites out of our own lives).

Alberto says he’s not gay. He was married, but his wife died a few years ago. Yolanda’s sorry to hear that. Does he cook? Uh, she’s asking because he lives alone. Alberto says he does and offers to make her dinner instead of going out…

But her phone rings and John says there’s a car waiting outside for her. Yolanda apologizes to Alberto, but she forgot she had an appointment.

Zulima catches Alberto spying on Yolanda as she jumps into the car John sent. He’d like to go after her, but Zulima wants to talk about his job performance. Lately, it sucks. She’s getting nothing but complaints about him being late all the time and distracted. Alberto says he’s been having some personal problems…changes….

“Of job?” Because Zulima can arrange that. You turn over a rock lately, you find ten stewards, that’s how bad unemployment is. But she’ll go easy on him this once and let him off with a warning. She sends him to HR.

What a test

Today is Yolanda’s “final exam” according to John. Hence his extra-special gift of a pilot’s uniform with short shorts. I roll my eyes. I find the platform heels especially annoying–is she really supposed to fly with those?

Step 1: takeoff.
Step 2: snog. (Watch where you’re going!)
Step 3: champagne. It’s a thing John likes to do. He toasts Yolanda and takes a swig. She toasts to her dad…and as she gets all teary, John says he hates to ruin the moment but–he passes out.
Step 4: panic.

Yolanda brings the plane in and lands it with no additional instructions and no help from John. And she doesn’t crash it, which is probably a good thing considering how much money she already owes him. His guys must have noticed something was wrong, because they’re waiting on the runway with SUVs and Yolanda hops out of the plane WITHOUT her shoes and gets into the back of an SUV with John.

As she cradles his head in her lap in the back seat and continues panicking, the guy driving informs her they’re going to the ranch. Yoli insists he needs a HOSPITAL. Dude can whine all he wants about the security of the patrón, but if he doesn’t turn left right the hell now and get his patrón to the hospital, he’s not going to have a patrón! Dude does the smart thing and turns left.

They get John to the clinic and into an exam room, and the doctor shuts them all out. The driver tells Yoli he has orders from Oscar not to take his eyes off her.

At the front desk, a security guy calls for police backup while one of John’s guys conveniently has his back turned.

Monica mobilizes her team to go to the clinic and grab John. She sends Alberto a text while he’s in Iné’s office…she can’t seem to find that warning paperwork for his file…he runs right out of there, Dave-i-fies, steals a company motorcycle and takes off.

At the clinic, the doctor comes out of the exam room to tell Yolanda that John basically did this to himself by swigging champagne with his pills, the dumbass. She begs the doctor to save him and begs the Virgen to help them all out.

Oscar’s got his crew together and he’s ready to leave the ranch and go get his brother. In the back seat of the SUV he whines about needing to be there NOW. I wonder if his guys all just ignore him when he gets like this.

Monica and the cops get to the clinic.

Inside the guy who told Yolanda he was watching here now starts assigning people to cover various doors. He has no orders for Yolanda.

Dave arrives Monica says there’s no way he can go in there–the entire operation would be compromised. (Damnit, Mon, don’t you realize Dave’s tired of handing out those little packets of peanuts?!) He asks if Yolanda’s in there, but she doesn’t know. Dave gives fairly obvious orders–get John and don’t shoot anybody, it’s a hospital.

Oscar, on the other hand, tells his guys he wants John out of that clinic and he doesn’t care how–shoot everyone if they have to.

Now, when Dave said “don’t shoot anybody” he didn’t mean John’s guys hanging around outside. He meant civilians. The shootout gets started and Yoli tells everyone in the waiting room to get down on the floor, then hustles them into the file room.

Because she apparently has to think of everything herself, she goes into the exam room, asks the doctor what John absolutely HAS to have, and tells him to unhook everything else. Now, where’s the back door out of here? Oscar’s hench holds a gun to the doctor’s head to jog his memory. They get John to the ambulance bay on the other side of the waiting area and load him up, bringing the doctor with him. Yolanda jumps into the front seat.

Hench: You can drive?
Yoli: Son, I can fly a plane.

Now Oscar shows up and joins in on the general shoot-em-up happening out front. I’m rolling my eyes at the whole thing and contemplating what character class Oscar would be if this were D&D and saying “Oscar lacks finesse” when Oscar pulls a grenade out of his pocket and throws it at the cops.

Seriously, Oscar? A grenade? It knocks the one guy nearest to Dave into a light pole…ouch! Monica goes over to check on Dave and start dragging him off.

Inside the hospital, Oscar gets a panicked paramedic to tell him “they” left in an ambulance. A woman in a pilot’s uniform. Oscar gives a big, dramatic, echoing scream.


The news about John Lucio’s near-capture is on in Tía Rosalba’s living room when Estela comes over, drunk, whining about missing her daughter. Rosalba makes the same face I’d be making as she keeps knitting and tells Estela it’s her own fault for not being there when Yolanda needed her. Estela knows Rosalba talks to her a lot…she just wants to know if Yolanda ever got on one of those big planes like she always said she would.

Rosalba can’t resist. She tells Estela all about Yolanda’s flight attendant job at Centro América Air. (I have a bad feeling about this.)

Back at the ranch

John’s waking up, confused about how he got there. He remembers being in the plane, then passing out. Yolanda tells him he mixed booze and pills. She had to land the plane by herself. Oh, he’s sooooo proud. His star pupil. Yolanda goes all schmoopy and says she has the best teacher (*cough* when he’s not trying to kill himself with booze and pills and make her land the plane by herself *cough*).

John wants a kiss, but that is SO not happening. Yoli was just waiting for him to wake up so she can go home. She tells him to take care of himself.

Outside, Zequi and Zulima are waiting. She doesn’t buy Zulima’s fake concern for her. Zequi congratulates her for how well she handled everything (yeah, it’s amazing what you can accomplish when you’re not busy lobbing grenades at people). He tells her to go ask Oscar to have one of his guys take her home. After what happened today, it’s safer to use their own vehicles than a taxi.

Zequi and Zuli go in to check on John and bring him the bad news Arley shared with Oscar earlier–there’s a mole in Centro América Air. John thinks that explains what happened in Colombia and why they were waiting for him in Mexico. He puts Zequi in charge of finding the rat, sewing his mouth shut, and burning him. Well, that was graphic!

Said rat is off with Monica, ears still ringing, getting an update. John got away again, but thanks to Dave’s intel they’ve located Centro América’s vendors and they can tell there are two sets of books. Someone’s laundering money through the company.

Yoli found some flats. She asks Oscar for a ride home, but instead he slams her against the wall by the throat and says he never wants to see her near his brother again or he’ll make her brains fly right out of her head. (I guess “Thank you” is too much to ask? Some people!) He throws her at a couple of his guys and tells them to take the zorra home.

Zequi and Zuli are on their way out. Zuli leans in to kiss John goodbye and whispers in his ear that she can take care of him.

John announces the person who was going to take care of him hasn’t shown up, so he’s going to have to ask Zuli to stay. He promises he won’t “steal” her from Zequi.

Excuse me while I roll my eyes so hard they get stuck in my head. Yes, she’s staying for sex. I’m not going to feel sorry for him if she kills him in the process, after the total lack of common sense he’s displayed today.

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.