La Fan Monday 3/20/17 #45

The Lucas and Vale Show

We’re off to a slow start today. Carrizo’s at Vale’s with a film crew and nobody likes this “Sunday with the Duartes” idea except Lucas. Well, Gabe might, but it’s more fun to watch Lucas flop around while Vale and Tomás refuse to do it.

Lucas and Vale might be fake married, but they’re real-married fighting. Pro tip: one partner can’t just make big decisions like turning your life into a reality show for 24 hours without running the risk of pissing off the other partner. Also, Tomás is part of the “family” now, so if you want a “family” show, he has to be consulted.

Vale can’t get Lucas to understand either of these things, but he has the magic pout, so he wins the argument.

Tomás is out in the living room with Gabe and Carrizo. Gabe tells him he doesn’t have to do this, but Tomás has a better idea. If Lucas wants a show, he’ll get a show. He sits down to tell Carrizo all about his beloved Lucas Duarte.

Tomás…well, he pretty much tells the truth. I don’t know if I’d call Lucas an “idiot” but liar and pain in the ass? He’s not wrong. And Lucas does pretty much get Vale to do whatever he wants. Possibly the only part that’s debatable is whether Lucas would have fake-married Vale if he really loves her.

It hasn’t even been a day and Salma’s tired of playing Happy Family. Do you think it’s the breakfast spread that got to her? Nicolas says it doesn’t matter whether they’re happy or not, they ARE a family.

Salma takes off to spend the day with Lucas (or so she thinks) and Rod begs her to stay. Not happening.

Vale, Lucas, and Gabe all throw Tomás under the bus. He’s just confused, poor dear. Tomás scowls at the camera.

Speaking of kids, do they plan to have any? Yes. Uh, no. Uh, not right now. Lucas wants Tomás to get acclimated first. His phone rings and he tells Salma he’s busy, pretending she’s just someone calling to congratulate him on his wedding. Bizarrely, when he gets off the phone he sweeps some nonexistent dirt into a dustpan. Because housework makes you look more married?

Salma fumes and plots revenge on Lucas for getting “married” and tossing her aside.

Gabe takes Tomás out for the day. Lucas is happy–Tomás is ruining his family façade. He tells the cameras Tomás hasn’t had his pill. (Kicking shins in 3…2…1….) For another touch of Real Life with Lucas, Salma shows up and suctions herself to his face.

Carrizo is just eating this up. Vale covers and says Salma’s just rehearsing. She’s such a consummate actress that it’s like she’s Ana Cristina 24/7. Isn’t that right, SALMA?! But she forgot they’re not rehearsing today, because they’re filming “Sunday with the Duartes.” Isn’t that a brilliant idea THEIR LUCAS had? Salma falls in line.

Vale’s house phone rings and she excuses herself to answer. Oh no! Not Quique! We can’t handle Quique drama! He’s seriously upset he wasn’t invited to the wedding. She’s being summoned. Vale says she’s got something burning on the stove, gotta go!

Back in the living room, she takes over the task of rubbing Lucas’ face off. Uh…rubbing the lipstick off his face. Yeah, that’s it.

Tomás is happy to be hanging out at Gabe’s instead of with Lucas. He moans about the marriage lasting until the end of the novela. He doesn’t want to live with Lucas! He’d rather live with Gabe.

Carrizo tries to ask about the relationship between Lucas and Salma, but Vale keeps pushing the mic away from them. Salma picks on the house for being so small, but Vale points out that just means she and Lucas are closer, right babe? Lucas agrees and they both glare at Salma until she leaves.

The Castros and their many loves

Down in the café, Diego still can’t remember what he may or may not have said to Adriana and/or Carlos last night other than “Miguel is not my father’s son,” no matter how many times Elo tells him to try harder.

Feli comes over to Carlos’ to complain about Adriana getting married without telling her. Nobody cares. She also finds out Carlos and Eloisa aren’t together. She gloats.

Patricia’s back. Ugh. She has a somewhat-legitimate reason for coming to the café–to tell Miguel that Gustavo’s coming back tomorrow. Seriously, though, she couldn’t have called?

Diego tracks down Adriana and interrupts her run, desperate to find out what he said last night. She doesn’t really answer the question–was he that drunk? No, he didn’t come over to talk about love. What is he afraid he said? He says he’s not sure if he told her he loves her and can’t live without her. He takes off running in the opposite direction she was going and gives a giddy kick.

Miriam and Benicio are having Japanese food when she gets a call from Miguel and he gets a call from Adriana.

I had such high hopes when Carlos came to confront Eloisa about Miguel. When will people learn that if you’re trying to get information out of someone, you can’t tell them what you think you know? He comes over to the café all “I know about Miguel. Why didn’t you tell me?! Is it true? Miguel is…adopted.” You were so close to the truth, Carlos. So very, very close.

Benicio comes over to Adriana’s to apologize for not coming to the wedding. She seems cranky about it and he suggests she needs mimos (cuddles). Adriana says she needs a wedding. In a week.

Eloisa rolls with the lie, even after Carlos says it’s too bad–he got excited for a minute thinking Miguel might be his son. Nope, Eloisa loudly insists he’s adopted…and Miguel hears.

Carlos leaves, since he has nothing to do with this…and Eloisa lets him. So she can tell Miguel he’s not adopted and she’s going to tell him the “truth.”

Diego bribes Jessi to get an ACTUAL pregnancy test in a doctor’s office with the vague promise of marriage if it’s positive. She treats that like a proposal and says she’ll marry him.

Eloisa says it’s all a misunderstanding. Carlos knows she has a secret and he assumed that’s what it was and so she let him think that. And her real secret is…? She’s not telling. Miguel makes her swear he’s her son, but conveniently doesn’t mention his father.

Carlos gets home. Adriana announces that she’s moved up the wedding–she’s getting married in a week.

Patricia goes over to Feli’s studio to tell her Gustavo is coming to town tomorrow and she wants Feli to keep up her part of the bargain. Feli says all she wanted was for Patricia to annoy Eloisa. She’s done that and she’s free to leave.

Benicio tells Miriam that he’s marrying Adriana in a week to save his sick father.

Falling apart

Lucas and Carrizo are both under the mistaken impression that Lucas “owes” his fans some reality nookie, or as close as they can get without pissing off the censors. Funny, I’ve never felt celebrities “owe” me anything, but I guess I’m funny that way. Lucas and Vale are in robes, preparing to have some champagne in the living room. Lucas struggles with the cork, pointing the bottle toward his face in his effort to yank that sucker and…there it goes. Right in the eye. That’s gonna sting.

Carrizo may not be getting that “passion” he wanted, but he’s got Lucas and Vale both in her bed with an ice pack over Lucas’ eye. That’s something, right? Tomás comes in to announce he’s moving in with Gabriel. Vale begs him not to leave her, as Lucas keeps interrupting because he “can’t tell” she’s talking to someone else. Tomás can’t live with that guy so…it’s him or Lucas!

Lucas, still valiantly trying to rescue his special, settles in to watch his “favorite movie”–his wedding video. Unfortunately, Carrizo recognizes the “judge” as an actor. And didn’t the kid just say their marriage was fake?

So now how are they going to get out of this one? Lucas goes for the standard “attack the cameraman” ploy. (Tsk, tsk, not well done of you, Lucas!) Vale claims if anyone got cheated here, it’s them! They’re married, I tell you! Married! Who did Lucas ask to get the JP? Duh, the same person he asks to do everything–Gabe.

Vale whines about her wedding…it can’t have been fake! Maybe the judge has a twin brother! Carrizo offers to make a call and find out for them. Outside. With the cameraman in tow.

Lucas tells Vale he’s going to ask Carrizo to put him on the news tonight to get ahead of this story.

Gabe tells Tomás he’s sending him home tomorrow. Not that he doesn’t like having him around, but Vale’s going to need him. And he should give Lucas a chance. He’s not sooooo bad.

Tomás turns on the TV, disgusted to see Vale sitting next to Lucas (in an eye patch) and crying. He wants to turn it off but Gabe needs to find out what Lucas has cooked up now. Lucas says he and Vale were victims of fraud. They’re not married, and it’s all the fault of his ex-manager Gabriel. But nothing is going to keep them apart! And Lucas illustrates this by kissing Vale repeatedly on camera.

Gabe is furious and ready to run right out and confront Lucas. Tomás doesn’t see what the big deal is–at least now everyone knows the marriage is fake and Lucas won’t be living in his house anymore! Gabe nearly takes off, forgetting he can’t leave Tomás alone, but Tomás tells him to sit down, enjoy some pizza, and plot revenge. Gabe’s eyes light up at that.

Everybody gets frisky

The cameras are gone, their ordeal is over, and now Lucas wants to prove to the public that his and Vale’s love doesn’t need paperwork. “Uh, but there aren’t any cameras here. We don’t have to keep faking.” Lucas wants them to have “their” night finally. “After all the lies, a little bit of truth.” (With Lucía watching from the wall? Let’s see how this goes!)

Miguel comes over to wherever Patricia is staying for a “proper” goodbye.

Diego comes over to Adriana’s to tell her he loves her. And kiss her. He knows they’re always going to keep thinking of each other. It’s not his fault he was born poor and didn’t go to a fancy college or have all the advantages she did–he just wants to die next to her because he loves her.

Vale tries to avoid getting into bed with Lucas, but he taunts her about not being brave enough to handle his manly manliness. OK, fine, she’ll stay…but she sets up a pillow fort first. Lucas pouts.

Agustín comes over to Salma’s, all upset that everyone knows Lucas and Vale’s wedding is fake now. He thinks they’re all implicated. Salma scoffs–why should she have known? She blames it all on Vale. Lucas never had problems when he was with her! “Except that the novela was tanking.” Right…well, it’s not her fault they wrote a crappy novela. “But the writing is the same and now they’re all watching because of La Fan.” Whatever. Salma doesn’t care about anything but getting Lucas back.

Lucas tries to get some good selfies in bed with Vale, but he messes with her hair and wakes her up. She starts swatting him with a pillow, thinking there were photographers in the room. I think he got some good shots there, actually! Lucas swears the phone was just taking pictures on its own.

Adriana wants Diego out of the house. They can’t be together. What about Jessi and the kids? Well, the jury’s still out on that! Adriana says this is crazy! Diego agrees, but it’s the best thing that’s happened to him.

And in the morning….

Miguel wakes up in Patricia’s bed, way later than he planned to. He’s barely pulling his pants on when Gustavo calls out from the living room that he’s home!

Jessi’s at the doctor’s office and Diego hasn’t shown up. He’d better get there before she can mess with the test results. Oh, good, he’s here!

Adriana has decided not to marry Benicio and Carlos supports her. He doesn’t want her getting married if she’s not in love. But he’s still disappointed that she DOES love Diego.

Carrizo has invaded the set and Justin is not happy. He kicks Carrizo out, but not before Gabe shows up. Lucas starts attacking him, but in all the confusion he punches Carrizo instead. Vale’s worried that he killed him.

Series Navigation<<Previous: La Fan Friday 3/17/17 #44Next: La Fan Tuesday 3/21/17 #46 >>
0 0 vote
Article Rating

Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.

newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
3 years ago

Very funny how nobody really checks on Carrizo to see if he is dead or alive. : )