I’m used to being contacted by people who are looking for recaps. Usually, I point them in the right direction and we’re done.
Sometimes I have to explain how I work–that I don’t have access to videos, that I don’t recap on demand, that I don’t transcribe in either English or Spanish. (Trust me, try getting every single word down for just one scene and you’ll never want to do it again!)
“No” is, in fact, a complete sentence. I do not apologize if I’m not actually sorry. That’s just the way I roll.
Today I had this exchange through Facebook Messenger:
Starting out, we have a request for videos. As I’ve said, that’s not any part of what we do here. Anyone who’s looking for videos would have better luck trying YouTube or checking the webpage of the station that aired the show.
The next request was for a recap of an episode of La Rosa de Guadalupe. Again, I had to turn that down because I don’t recap shows I’m not watching.
As for the offer of “likes” in return, I don’t work for “likes.” And if I was working for “likes” fifty wouldn’t be worth much. If people are interested and want to like the page, that’s great, but I really don’t have any use for a bunch of “likes” from people who don’t actually like the page or don’t care.
I don’t know what to make of the revelation that this young person doesn’t use the internet much and only uses their phone to call their mom. There must be a reason for that, and whatever the reason is, it would mean I’d have to do a lot of relaying questions and answers back and forth, which is not my idea of a good time. There is also no way to learn how to do new things without trying them.
Yes, I did understand that it was just one episode, but that in itself is a problem. Which episode? How will I know it’s the right one? And why would I sacrifice over an hour of my time to watch the episode and explain what it’s about? I have other things to do, like running a blog, writing recaps of the shows I do watch, knitting, trying to keep the cat out of trouble, etc. My time is a valuable commodity. I don’t spend it in ways I don’t care to. Not in exchange for “likes” or money or anything else.
So now I see that the value of my help has decreased from fifty likes to eight, “Or at least 13.” This is a bad bargaining strategy. Granted, the answer was always going to be “no,” so that’s neither here nor there. Just keep in mind in the future that if someone won’t do something for you for x amount they’re not going to do it for less.
And finally, I see that I’m an asshole. “Mr. asshole” to be exact. Hence the title of this post. As for the asshole part…if not doing what other people want me to do is being an asshole, then I’m proud to be one. And strangely relieved that this young person thought I was a man. I wouldn’t want to get the overused “bitch” title.
As for the emoji, sticking a smile after something doesn’t make it OK.
Should this young person emerge from their internet-less cocoon and take offense at this post, I would like to remind them that nobody has a clue who they are, so if they’d like to remain anonymous they probably shouldn’t respond.
In summary, please heed the following advice, anonymous young person (although it’s probably good for just about everyone):
- “Please” is not meant to be used as a substitute for “do it, or else.”
- “No” is a complete sentence.
- If you’re ever in a situation where you say “no” and someone calls you an asshole for it STAND YOUR GROUND! There are way worse things in the world than being called an asshole. You could end up doing something you really don’t want to just so that someone will like you. (Pro tip: they won’t actually like you, they’ll just pretend to. People you say “no” to who still like you–those are the ones you want to keep around.)