Introduction and Disclaimer
Just a friendly reminder that these mini-caps might be completely worthless for trying to figure out what’s going on or being said in every.single.scene. I work from my limited memory and I tend to paint with a roller (seriously, “broad strokes” is an understatement.) Scenes are almost never written in the order of the program, though I’m trying to keep events chunked by commercial breaks.
I want to go on record to say that I found it very uncool of the writers to leave me with David being stabbed, but starting the next episode with Mical and Paltiel fighting.
Paltiel’s masculinity is offended at being called another man’s name and Mical is pissed that Paltiel drugged her. I’m with Mical on this. Paltiel claims he was just trying to help her get some rest. Mical tells him to get the hell out of her tent.
And David? It was a nightmare! Last episode’s cliffhanger wasn’t even REAL! David was dreaming that a Filisteo killed him. Joab isn’t surprised. David has been running from Saúl forever. David says he will continue to put his trust in God. Joab is cool with that, but it won’t hurt to double the security until the people of Siclag trusts them. You know…por si acaso.
Rizpa and Abner get their snog on, but she kills the mood when she asks if they can leave and join David’s army. Abner is mortified. Of course he can’t betray King Saúl. Saúl would kill him. Rizpa scoffs, Abner sure doesn’t seem too afraid to flirt with the King’s favorite concubine. Abner spots Saúl coming and manages to hightail it out of there. Saúl demands that Rizpa tell him where David is. Rizpa shrugs it off. Uh? Wut? David? Saúl assumes (correctly) that it’s Ainhoa’s foolishness. First she accuses Abner of sleeping with Rizpa, now David. Saúl grumbles and heads back to bed. I’m pretty sure Ainhoa’s plan did not work the way she thought it would.
Baby Mefiboset (Baby M from now on) is still crying. Jonathan finally picks him up and tells him to stop crying. It’s a miracle! The baby stops crying and Jonathan stops hating him! He says “Te amo hijo” (I love you son) Awwww.
Aitofel, Eliam and Urías catch up with David. They want to join his army. David is the only one who can unite the tribes!
Merab and Mical snuggle Baby M. Uh oh. Mical’s ovaries are talking. They want a David baby. Ainhoa shows up for some baby loving. Ainhoa coos that Baby M is Saúl’s heir, the future King of Israel. Tirsa gives her the side eye.
Alat does an Ishtar incantation ceremony to try to cure Doeg (and look, captions…I looked it up and it’s Doeg the Edomite, so stop calling him Goeb.) Doeg is done with Ishtar and her cures. He whines about what a sad ending he will have. He was once a great warrior of Saúl, and it’s leprosy that takes him down.
Ainhoa wants Siba to help her come up with a new, infallible plan to bring down Rizpa. Rizpa can’t believe her own brother would set her up like that. Does he want her dead. Then Rizpa turns on Ainhoa. Aihnoa has a dry soul. She can no longer bear children. Rizpa on the other hand has her youth and her soft skin. Ainhoa slaps her. Rizpa just slaps her right back.
Saúl watches Jonathan walking and rocking Baby M. Saúl cries and heads into his tent. Jonathan comes in and asks Saúl to forgive him. Saúl says Jonathan he hasn’t done anything he needs to be forgiven for. Jonathan disagrees. He wasn’t there for his father. Jonathan does not agree with what his father is doing to David, but he still loves him. Saúl cries and asks Jonathan to forgive him. Jonathan hands Baby M to Saúl and the 5 year jump in time was really well filmed. Saúl and Baby M are reflected in the mirror, then there are some lighting effects and ta dah! It’s Saúl and an older version of Baby M.
Saúl reminds Jonathan that Mefi (it doesn’t seem right to call him “baby” anymore) is 5 and it’s time to start teaching him swordplay. Jonathan thinks Mefi is too young. Saúl disagrees, he started learning when he was 5. Jonathan just tells his dad to lay off. Jonathan will be the one to decide when it’s time for Mefi to learn to use a sword.
Merab has had a baby. Mical is still wanting a baby….by David. Merab thinks it’s odd that Mical hasn’t gotten pregnant during the last 5 years..
Over in Siclag, King Akis is thanking David for his years of service. The town in prospering and the Hebrews are adjusting to life in Siclag. David has been a great military asset and he’s shown his loyalty to Akis in battle, helping to defeat the many enemies of the Filisteos. Now though it’s really time for David to prove his loyalty.
Saúl meets with Abner for his weekly “I hate David” rant. David is fighting with the hated Filisteos. How can the people still love him? Abner explains that David may be fighting with the Filisteos, but he’s defeating the enemies of the Hebrews while he does it. He’s fighting for Akis, but liberating the Hebrews at the same time. David is their hero. Saúl doesn’t like it. David is also expanding Filisteo territory. Saúl thinks it’s time to go after David again. Abner thinks this is a bad idea. David is practically invincible at this point. Jonathan overhears this argument and tells Saúl to just give it a rest already. Saúl says he’ll give it a rest when he’s dead.
Crap. Akis asks David to prove his loyalty by going into battle as his personal guard and to fight against Saúl and the Hebrews. Oh, and kill Saúl while he’s at it. *gulp*
Back at Saúl’s camp, we find out Rizpa has had a child (ETA 12/23/18…nope! Rizpa does not have a child. Who knows what I saw that gave me that crazy idea.), Tirsa is still caring for Mefi…and carrying a torch for Siba. She spies him making woo with another girl. He’s not worth it Tirsa!
Ainhoa wants Abner to help train Esbaal to be a warrior worthy of being the King of Israel. Abner has to tell her that Esbaal kind of sucks at the soldier thing. Abner has had to save Esbaal’s butt more than once. Ainhoa is convinced Esbaal is their only hope.
David confers with Aitofel, Eliam and Urías. David tells them he will have to fight against the Hebrews, but he has a plan! He won’t fight the Hebrews at all! No! When the time comes he’ll turn on Akis and fight with Saúl. Aitofel, Eliam and Urías think this is a stupid risky idea. David swears he didn’t have a choice! Eliam and Urías want permission to go say good-bye to their wives. David grants them permission, but asks them to be back by nightfall. David sends Joab to go to Saúl’s camp and warn Jonathan.
Aviatar and Itai the blacksmith talk about the Ark of the Covenant and that time the Filisteos took it as part of the spoils from a battle with the Hebrews. The Filisteos all got a nice case of tumors and the growths didn’t go away until the Ark was returned to the Hebrews. Their conversation is interrupted when they see a black-clad figure with what looks like the Eye of Horus on his forehead. Aviatar and Itai wonder if he is a spy.
Joab sneaks into Saúl’s camp and looks for Jonathan. He is busy playing with Mefi. Joab tries unsuccessfully to get the Jonathan’s attention. Finally, while they are horseplaying, Jonathan slings Mefi’s toy sword right where Joab is hiding. When Mefi goes to retrieve the sword, Joab asks the boy to deliver a message to his father.
Doeg dies a miserable death in Alat’s arms. She mourns him. He’s always been with her. What will she do? Doeg says a soldier is always prepared for death, but the slow death he is suffering is more than he can stand. He is terrified. He dies and Alat buries him.
Mical prays to Ishtar. She offers the goddess her soul and her blood if She will just bring David back to him.
Joab warns Jonathan about the coming battle.
Eliam and Urías say their goodbyes to Betsabé and her mom. Betsabé wants to go with them. They refuse and tell her to prepare for the worst. Betsabé tells them they have to be optimistic. David is a great warrior! Eliam leaves a bag of money for them to keep.
Itai is excited for the battle. David is in his own world and Itai knows it. David apologizes. He’s just um..going over strategy…yeah. Itai is pumped to finally get revenge on those Hebrews. Then he stops and apologizes to David for saying that about his people. David tells Itai not to worry. Saúl turned his back on him and now David is loyal to Akis. David confesses that he would prefer not to have to fight the Hebrews. He’s going to keep his word though.
Jonathan tries to warn Saúl, but the old man is stubborn. Why should he trust David? It could be a trap. Joab tells them the battle will be tomorrow.
David asks Aviatar to watch over his wiveS and take care of them if he doesn’t come back from the battle. David is putting his faith and his life in God’s hand. He’s hoping for a miracle.
Saúl is convinced that David has been colluding with Akis to gain power and territory. Jonathan berates Saúl. David is putting his life on the line to warn us about the Filisteo plans. Saúl turned his back on David NOT the other way around. Hundreds of Filisteos are at their back door! Saúl can go see for himself!
Spinning sword closing credits.
This episode sure didn’t have any fun vocabulary words. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading!