La Reina del Sur Wednesday 5/29/19 #2.27

Previously: Team Teresa checks out their new secret headquarters. Teresa lures Zurdo Villa to dinner at the Hotel Majestic and establishes that they both want to get rid of Epifanio. Epifanio’s granddaughter is arrested on suspicion of murder.


The colors for Zurdo’s “Welcome Back Teresa” party are gold and hot pink. More gold than hot pink. I want to like it, but I’m too busy being creeped out. Zurdo’s planning to sing.

Sanchez-Godoy checks out the party prep and assures Zurdo that he’s not going to make a play for Teresa. He respects his business partners, and Teresa even more. Anyway, he’s got that shipment coming in like Zurdo asked.

Yeah, Lencho can take care of it.

Um, Lencho? But Zurdo always handles the big shipments himself.

Yes, but right now the most important thing is Teresa.

Sanchez-Godoy looks at him like he JUST figured out that Zurdo’s obsessed.


Teresa smells something good coming from the kitchen. Rocio and Paloma are cooking and they tell her they want to go to the party with her so she’s not alone.

Nonononono, they’re not here to help her, they’re here because they had to skip the country!

But Sofia’s their sister and it’s their job to help her. The two of them have always supported each other and it’s not gonna be any different with Sofia. They can’t sit here doing nothing. They’ve already discussed it.

Teresa says this is not like hanging out at grandma’s house. And Paloma’s pregnant!

Well, she hasn’t even decided if she’s having the baby yet.

OK, and that’s still her decision to make, but Teresa can’t put either of them at risk!


Zurdo’s giving orders to make sure the ranch is secure. He wants all signals blocked. (So…not using a wireless mic, then?) And if anybody tries to get in shoot first and ask questions later. He sends the guy to go pick up Teresa.

Sanchez-Godoy doesn’t get it. Is Zurdo suspicious of Teresa?

Zurdo says he doesn’t even trust his own shadow. ‘Cause every time the sun moves, it moves too.


Teresa and Oleg are going over the plan with the team. Oleg wants a GPS tracker on Teresa, but she reminds them that Zurdo knows to knock out all signals. Sheila and Conejo offer to carry it, but Teresa says they’ve gotta get everything ready at el submarino. (Or El Submarino? Is that the club?) Plus if Zurdo separates Teresa from the group they still need to know where she is.

Sheila offers up her necklace for Ray to use to plant the tracker. Teresa tells Ray they’re all in his hands now ’cause if Zurdo finds out she’s got a tracker, they’re all dead.


Sofia’s in a better mood in the morning. She made chilaquiles for her and Lupo. And she insists he button his shirt because it’s rude to sit at the table with your shirt unbuttoned. Lupo nonverbally approves of the chilaquiles.


Teresa’s having Ali and Sheila get the club ready. Sheila’s also supposed to get as much information as she can out of Batman.

Oh, honey, nobody can resist the charms of Sheila. She’ll drag him back to the Batcave and have him singing La Malagueña!

Teresa asks Conejo and Rocio if they’re sure they want to come with her. Because she wouldn’t blame them if they backed out.

Conejo says she’d rather be doing this than go back to her boring life in Málaga. She wants to be like one of the Amazons in the Iliad, or a soldier in the Odyssey to climb into the horse.

Rocio: “What are you even talking about?”

Conejo complains about the state of education in Spain. You talk about Homer and they think you mean Homer Simpson. And she knows Rocio’s not learning anything from her vampire novels.

Teresa says she’ll tell her the story of the Trojan horse on the drive over.


Lupo hasn’t had chilaquiles before. Did Teresa show her how to cook them.

Yep. Mom’s a good cook. They probably had chilaquiles more often than pasta. And the kids at school didn’t know what she was talking about because there’s no translation for “chilaquiles” in Italian.

Lupo says she taught Sofia a lot in a few years.

Yep. She made sure Sofia could read before she even got to school. Because you can learn anything from books. And now she knows why Teresa taught her self-defense. She knew one day Sofia would get kidnapped.

“Do you miss her?”

She misses María Dantés, not Teresa Mendoza.

Lupo starts in on how there are two sides, she had her reasons….

Sofia knows he’s just trying to justify what Teresa did because one day he’s going to have to find a good reason to kill Sofia. They’ll give him the order one day. Why did he kidnap her? For money? Or is there some other reason? Who gives him the orders? Who’s his boss? What does he want?

She already knows they kidnapped her to make her mom do something she doesn’t want to. Right?

Lupo says she’s not wrong, but they can’t talk about it.

He’s just defending her because he’s got a thing for her. It’s women’s intuition.

Um, she’s not a woman, she’s a kid.

She knows you don’t end up smelling like a woman’s perfume unless you’re hugging and kissing. She’s not “insinuating” anything. She’s just proving to him that she’s not a kid.


Alejandro has Jimena brought to a meeting room to tell her she’s free to go, she just can’t leave the city. The cop from last night tells her to go ahead and go.

Alejandro hands over a briefcase full of cash and says the cop’s going to be able to buy his own island soon.

The cop says it was easy. Epifanio’s a great actor.

“And that’s why he’ll make a great president.”


Rocio finishes with Conejo’s makeup. And she’ll forgive the jab about not thinking she knew how to use anything besides black eyeliner, but only because Conejo told her about the Trojan horse. Did Conejo know her dad?

Conejo says he was a hottie. And he was as hot as he was shameless. Sorry.

No, it’s cool. Grandma talked about him all the time.

Teresa’s ready to go and as much as I hate the color of that dress, she does look good. She reminds them Oleg’s watching and listening from now on.

Conejo gives him a “Hi Oleg! Testing!”


Zurdo’s hench is alarmed when Antón comes outside and starts checking the SUV. He doesn’t have permission for a man to come with them.

Well, Teresa’s not going anywhere without her bodyguard. She starts walking back inside and hench freaks out and begs them to wait while he calls the boss.

Teresa’s dress looks more gold than green in the sunlight. She whispers to Antón not to talk. She doesn’t want them to hear a word of Russian. Conejo tells Rocio to chill and smile. Teresa tells her again that she doesn’t have to go, but Rocio says she made up her mind. She learns a lot from them.

Zurdo, of course, gives permission. As they head for the car, Teresa mutters to Rocio that this SUV is the Trojan horse.

Ray’s got a map up that’s showing the location of Teresa’s tracker.


Sheila is doing an absolutely terrible job of getting information out of Batman. She resorts to telling him his accent is so Mexican…and manly…and Ali clinks some glassware.

Batman tells her once you go Mexican you never go back…to Spain. Good grief, this is horrible dialogue!

Sheila counters with “I used to pole dance, and I still do, depending on the pole.” So is he single, married, divorced?

Batman says he’s a widower. They killed his wife and his kids. Sheila’s look of horrified sympathy is sincere.


Ain’t nothing like a narco party…printed shirts and big guns all around. Rocio goes to find a bathroom.

Zurdo’s hench tells Teresa he likes her necklace, which is such a weird thing to comment on that I’m nervous already.

Teresa hangs out with Conejo saying she does miss this–the music, the food. If this is why the Spanish call them sudacas, she’s sudaca and proud.


Rocio bumps into Sanchez-Godoy in her quest for the bathroom. He lays it on thick, asking her not to call him “sir” but Sanchez-Godoy or Papi. He says it’s supposed to take 1.4 seconds to fall in love and he just broke the record at 1.3. So…is she of age?

Of course! Not by much, but enough. Anyway, she’s looking for the bathroom….

Now he’s going on and on about her accent and her eyes and her smile and Rocio’s cracking up. But really…she goes into the bathroom.


Zurdo’s taking the WIRELESS mic and he’s threatening to sing a song he wrote for Teresa. I’d much rather hear more of Sanchez-Godoy’s flirting. He should have rehearsed with the band a little more.

Oleg, Ray, and Paloma get treated to a view up Zurdo’s nose as he sings to Teresa. Paloma says he’s funny. Oleg says he’s a killer and he’s more dangerous than she can imagine.


I don’t know if Batman really thinks Sheila’s interested in him or he’s just amused. She’s nearly gotten an invitation to his house and vague promises of Batsex.


Epifanio’s waiting for Jimena, Virginia, and Carmen when they get home. He gloats about this not going on Jimena’s record and that’s what influence is for.

Carmen sends Virginia to the kitchen to get things ready to make chicken in salsa verde.

Epifanio brought the divorce papers.


Zurdo makes a toast to Teresa. A very long toast. Paloma still thinks he’s funny. Ray says he’s a clown. Oleg says a clown with an ametralladora (machine gun) isn’t a clown.


Rocio comes out of the bathroom and Sanchez-Godoy gets back to flirting. When she won’t tell him about herself, he guesses that she’s Spanish and that she came with Teresa. He tells his “I brought mariachis to her birthday party,” story. Teresa was with this guy Teo Alfalsomething.

Aljarafe. And he’s dead.

Sanchez-Godoy can’t believe Teresa’s bad luck with men. But he doesn’t remember Rocio being at that party.

She was too young.

Well, now she’s all grown up.

Rocio excuses herself, but Teresa hasn’t seen her since they arrived.

Sanchez-Godoy tells her to lead on–she can take him with her to say hello to his old friend. So how to the Spanish say the z….


Zurdo meets Marcela. Teresa says she was just talking about how much she’s missed parties like this.

Sanchez-Godoy comes over with Rocio and Teresa hugs him. I’m pretty sure Zurdo’s jealous. He tells Sanchez-Godoy to quit bringing up the past. Sanchez-Godoy tells him not to worry–Teresa’s like a sister to him.

Sanchez-Godoy remembers Conejo and that earns him a hug. He introduces Rocio to Zurdo.

Back at the club, Paloma asks who Sanchez-Godoy is. I would have thought Oleg would remember him.

Time for more party shenanigans. Zurdo tells everyone he bought Teresa’s house, but now he’s giving it back to her.

Teresa looks horrified. She refuses…she doesn’t like to have to return favors like this. Zurdo’s confused and angry. Sanchez-Godoy jumps in and says Teresa’s just shocked, right? He wanted to surprise her and she’s surprised.

He puts the papers and the keys in Teresa’s hands and says she’s gotta invite them over for a party sometime.

Teresa gets the hint. She thanks Zurdo and says this is such a huge gift. He calls for more tequila and everyone applauds.


Epifanio gives Carmen a pen and tells her to sign the papers.

Fine, she’ll sign, but she knows this was all a set up.


Ray’s pretty close to finding the location of the ranch and he says no one can trace it back to them.

Paloma goes outside for some air.


They’ve lost sight of Zurdo. Teresa’s hanging out with Sanchez-Godoy. She asks what that look earlier was about.

He says you can’t say “no” to Zurdo. She can burn that house down later if she wants, but if she’d said “no” to him in front of all these people he would have burned both that house and the ranch, with everyone in it. It’s a nightmare doing business with him. And she needs to be careful what she does and what she says, because Zurdo’s “in love” with her.

Teresa asks if he’s been doing big business with Zurdo.

Yep. And it gets bigger all the time. Tomorrow he’s bringing in ten tons of the purest cocaine to Playa Altata. Zurdo always changes the location. He’s paranoid.


Zurdo’s telling stories to Conejo and Rocio when his hench interrupts…there’s a signal coming from the party. Someone’s broadcasting their location.

Zurdo: Well, now we’re screwed.”

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.