La Reina del Sur Tuesday 6/4/19 #2.31

Previously: Teresa got word that Siso was heading for Culiacan. Paloma gave Charo the address to the bar. Half of Zurdo’s shipment got stolen by Teresa’s team. Teresa lured Siso and his cousins into an ambush.


Teresa comes downstairs and tells Siso she gets it. His daddy was never proud of him. He respected Santiago more. Siso was jealous of Santiago. And he hates her ’cause she’s a woman and he’s a raging misogynist. He’s nobody.

She’s saying this from the other side of a fence topped with barbed wire and he’s out of ammo so really all he can do is throw his gun at the fence. And call her an hija de puta.

Teresa says she can take off the puta, but he can’t get rid of the pendejo. Anyway, this is the second-to-last time she’ll see him.

She starts to walk off and then turns around and shoots out the tires of the SUV. “What? I wasn’t gonna kill you! I’m just making sure you can’t take my truck. I’m gonna go out and do the same thing to yours now.”

Upstairs Sheila has finally gotten over her fear and cracks up laughing. Teresa tells Sheila and Conejo they’ve gotta get going. It’s starting to smell like death in here.

They walk off, flipping Siso off as he screams that all three of them are hijas de —  and “Come back!”


Outside the warehouse, the pickups full of drugs have arrived. Ray asks Oleg to let him do the hand-off. He wants to make up for his screw-up yesterday.

Oleg refuses–it’s too dangerous. Siso and his cousins are too dangerous. But he’ll leave it up to Teresa.

Teresa won’t go for it. The plans are made. But Ray begs and she agrees. And he’d better be careful because if anything goes wrong she doesn’t know what she’s gonna say to his mom!

Ray’s all “I’ve dealt with more dangerous criminals that this.” Teresa says he reminds her of his uncle (yeah, and look how well that turned out).

Conejo and Sheila are trying to go with Teresa for the next part of the plan. Sheila’s starting to like this whole “shooting a gun” thing (I blame that on the shiny plating). But Teresa’s only taking Rocio, like they planned last night.

The box truck is loaded. Everybody gets back into their vehicles and starts driving off. Ray gets behind the wheel of the box truck.


Tozzi’s doing a catnip roll in Sofia’s bed and talking like a pigeon. Sofia sneaks downstairs to the door that’s been chained shut and starts trying to pick the lock.

Lupo sneaks up on her and says it’s easier with a key. Now that he knows what she’s like, he got a custom lock.

What happened to no locks and no rules?

He says except for that storage space. It’s dangerous.

Dangerous is him and her mom teaming up to kidnap her and ask her grandmother for a ransom. They’re a couple of liars and thieves. Lupo has no answer.


Siso and the cousins are starting to turn on each other. They don’t know why Teresa has them locked up in here or what she meant about it being the “second to last” time she’d see Siso.

Siso finally breaks a chain and opens a gate, but all that leads to is a set of rooms and a hallway that don’t have a way out.

Ray drives the box truck into the warehouse and sits on the front bumper with his giant headphones on. Siso thinks that truck is their way out.


Zurdo’s freaking out about the theft and no one has any good answers for him. Teresa and Rocio interrupt his interrogation. Teresa says she’s here to give Zurdo some information. Someone wants to steal his shipment and it’s someone who knows everything about his operation.

From behind him, Lencho and the truck driver both start shouting that this is what they’ve been trying to tell him! Zurdo tells them to beat it.

Teresa says the theft has already happened, right? How much did they take?

Almost five tons.

Teresa’s “¿Qué?” has an undertone of criticism and disgust.

And how did she know?

She’s got contacts everywhere. People with big tentacles.

Who’s the octopus who gave her the information?

The head of Moroccan intelligence.

“Where’s that?” (Oh, tell me he did not just say that!)

Africa. When she came out of hiding she asked a friend to keep an eye out for her and anyone around her–that includes the two of them.

Zurdo makes a tasteless remark about Africa having more than monkeys, but he also mocks the idea that there are people there looking out for them.

Sanchez-Godoy digs it. Everyone looking out for each other.

Zurdo doesn’t. He doesn’t want some government spying on him without his knowledge.

Teresa asks what he’s really upset about–that she has people watching her back or that he got robbed? If he doesn’t want the intel, she can go.

No, Zurdo wants to know who the rat is.

Siso Pernas.

Zurdo says he’s done business with Siso for years and he wouldn’t do that!

Teresa says he doesn’t know Siso as well as she does. He’s greedy. All he can expect from Siso is betrayal. Sanchez-Godoy told him, right?

Sanchez-Godoy reminds Zurdo that he already knows his opinion of Siso. It was different when Don Joaquin was around. But Siso? He only had to do one deal with him to know he was faker than a coin made of leather. And Siso’s gotten the attention of the Spanish government.

Teresa explains that Siso and his cousins got on a private plane using fake names and a fake flight plan and then came straight to Culiacan. Her contact warned her, but her people here also confirmed it.

Rocio tells Teresa their partners just sent a message. Teresa looks at the cell phone and tells Zurdo she’s found his missing merchandise, but telling him where it is has a price.

Zurdo’s cranky that she’s asking him to pay.

Well, everything in life is business, it’s just the merchandise that changes. Or is he going to say the gifts he gave her didn’t have strings attached?


Oleg distributes cash to the road team and the cops. Conejo and Sheila start talking about their part of the job to Ahmed. The camera’s giving us that “somebody’s watching” angle.

Conejo and Sheila say that when Teresa got Siso to talk, he told them everything. They had Cayetana’s phone bugged, so that lets Paloma off the hook.

Paloma’s worried about Ray. And Teresa.


Teresa’s doing that narco math where Sanchez-Godoy charged Zurdo $5M per ton, that’s $25M total, but there’s also costs, so really he lost $50M, which he’s going to get back thanks to her and she’s only going to charge him $10M, which means he’ll get $40M back.

Zurdo complains that he’s paying twice for the same merchandise.

So Teresa says she’ll explain it again…when you’re talking about $75M, $10M is like pinching an elephant’s butt. And he’s going to be going home with $40M. And he’ll be selling it for $100M, so basically she’s doing him this favor for free. He’ll have the market covered and they’re all Felipes y con ténis (felices y contentas).

Zurdo’s impressed. Sanchez-Godoy says they should put her on Mexico Has Talent. She’s got a calculator for a brain. Zurdo starts screaming at Lencho to get him ten guys and get his gun ready to go after Siso. He trusts Teresa, but he doesn’t know her contacts so how about they see how the show ends and then he’ll get her the money.


Siso and his cousins shake Ray down for the keys to the truck…and the engine doesn’t start. Ray’s nearly made it out of the room, but one of the cousins tells him to come back and get the engine working.


Sofia hears a boat engine and looks out the window. She recognizes Epifanio from his banners…and realizes he’s Lupo’s and her mom’s boss.

Epifanio doesn’t want Sofia to recognize him, but Lupo says she’s up at the house.

She comes running out of the house. Batman grabs her. She starts in on Epifanio about how he’s Lupo’s boss and her mom’s boss, but why is he working with her mom if she put him in jail?

Lupo’s like “stop talking.”

There must be a big secret if her mom’s doing business with…the candidate. He’s Epifanio Vargas and he’s running for president of Mexico. Does she need to repeat it in Italian?

Epifanio says he heard about her, but the descriptions fell short. She’s smart. And she’s got character. So how did she find out about him?

Why should she tell him?

Because he’s chismoso like she is and he likes to be well-informed. Got it? Or does he need to repeat it in Nauhuatl?

Batman blames it on Morgana, ’cause it wasn’t any of them!

Well, she read about her mom sending him to jail on the internet. And she knows he’s running for president because saw his posters all over the place when she escaped. Although, he looks older in person.

“Viejos los cerros y reverdecen, mi’jita.” (Better late than never; the hills are old and they keep reviving.)

Batman and Lupo shove her back towards the house.

Epifanio doesn’t like her having that much information.

Sofia goes back to the house and uncorks a bottle of wine before pouring it down the drain. She takes it up to her room.


Rocio is freaking out at the sight of all the guys checking their guns. It’s not something she ever saw in Spain. Teresa says she grew up with it and it still creeps her out.

She pulls Sanchez-Godoy aside and asks him why he doesn’t just take Rocio back to the hotel and not put himself in danger.

And she could do the same. If this gets out of hand, it’s over for her.

She told him yesterday, she was sure about what she was doing. And it’s his information that helped her do it. And yeah, she’s scared, but that’s her motivation.

Sanchez-Godoy still thinks it’s dangerous. If Zurdo finds out it was her and not Siso, it’s goodbye Teresa and all her descendants. What is it really she’s trying to do with Zurdo.

It’s better if he doesn’t know.

Zurdo’s ready to go and he says la cachorrita is coming with him.

Teresa doesn’t want her getting involved. She’s young and she hasn’t seen this kind of thing before.

Rocio insists she wants to help, but Teresa says she’ll get more chances later.

Zurdo agrees to let Sanchez-Godoy take her back to the hotel. “But don’t get lost on the way.” Teresa sends Antón back with them.

It seems tacky somehow to have that one truck with the rifles sticking out the windows.


The rest of team Teresa are still waiting outside the warehouse. Sheila nudges Conejo and motions to Paloma.

Conejo tries to comfort her–Teresa’s good with numbers and planning. She had everything planned out, from the locks, to the pen for the Gallegos.

Sheila says she could be in the CIA or the KGB.

With zero humor, Oleg says there is no KGB anymore. Now it’s the FSB and for sure, Teresa’s better than half their agents.

Sheila’s still worried. Oleg says he met Teresa doing the same negotiation she’s doing today–selling him back his own stolen product. Teresa knows how to deal with guys like him and Zurdo.

Conejo asks Sheila about her date last night with Batman.

Terrible! She barely had time to search the one room before he came back to it. And then she thought she’d just screw him and search the house while he slept. But when they were just about to f–

Oleg interrupts her. They’re about to get Teresa’s signal, so they need to be ready.


Ray’s checking out the engine. He tells the Gallegos it’s an electrical problem. He’s sure the guy who fixes it has been doing it wrong so Ray has to bring it back every month. But his boss doesn’t believe him!

Siso grabs him by the neck and tells him to arrancar (start) the motor or he’ll arrancar (rip off) his head.

Ray says he’ll fix it. He just needs his tools, which are conveniently stashed around a corner.


Epifanio wants to talk to Teresa before he goes back to Mexico. But he reminds Lupo again that that girl is dangerous.

Lupo says it’ll all be fine once she goes back to her mother.

Assuming she goes. Epifanio says everything and everyone who got in his way has to disappear when he becomes president. Including that girl.

Lupo disagrees. No children.

Epifanio says he gets it, which I’m guessing is more like “I’ll get someone else to do it,” and not “Yeah, you’re right.”

As soon as Epifanio’s boat leaves, Lupo comes running back to the house looking for Sofia. He finds the bottle opener and the cork…and Sofia’s not in her room.


Lencho was right. Zurdo likes to listen to classical music in his car. Except he’s not listening as much as ranting about killing the Gallegos.

Teresa ignores a phone call from Epifanio and says it was just…Cayetana. Paloma and Rocio’s grandma. She’s probably just calling to insult Teresa ’cause she’s mad that Teresa brought the girls here with her.

Zurdo whines about earning a new enemy every day. He wants to make Teresa an offer, but after this is done.

Teresa texts Oleg. They’re a few minutes away.


Ray’s still fiddling with the engine, but he thinks he’s got it. Siso won’t let him go until he checks. When the truck starts he tells the cousins to get in and tells Ray to get the door for them.

Telmo (and I’m just now learning his name when I assume he’ll be dead in five minutes) points his gun at Ray. Siso calls him and Telmo laughs–he’s out of ammo. (OK, I forgot that too.)

Ray walks slowly up to the door, throws it open at the last minute, stands in the doorway, jumps out of the way when Siso yells at him, and then runs back into the warehouse.

Siso drives past their car, which is all shot up now. Benxa, I think, says once they get home he’s out. He’s no good at this job.

Telmo whines about not getting revenge for Xavi. Seriously Telmo, shut up!

Siso’s dad apparently had a saying for times like this–in this business, the one who wins is the one who knows how to wait for the right moment.

Before Siso can get the truck out of the parking lot, Zurdo’s guys block him in.

Siso laughs. It’s his buddy Zurdo! He introduces Telmo and Benxamin, aka Dead Meat 1 and 2. “How’d you find us?”

Lencho opens the door for Teresa, who gets out and gives them a look like she’s so sorry it had to come to this.

Siso calls her an hija de p– and Zurdo objects. She’s a lady!

Siso complains that she made his dad’s life hell and now she’s trying to do the same to him. (That is just straight up delusional. Seriously, this guy.) He tells Zurdo he’s here to get revenge on his new friend.

Riiight…but usually he calls when he comes to Mexico and this time he didn’t. Like he didn’t want Zurdo to know he was here.

Siso repeats that this is between him and Teresa, but Zurdo wants the details. They’re all friends, right?


Oleg and the others are still watching and worrying. And they’re “binoculars,” Sheila.

Ray comes running up and says everything’s going perfectly.

Paloma’s worried because she doesn’t see Rocio, but Oleg says she had other work.


Teresa encourages Siso to tell Zurdo why he’s really in Culiacan. If he hasn’t done anything wrong, he doesn’t have anything to be afraid of…and she thinks he looks pretty nervous.

Siso says Teresa lured them here and locked them in a warehouse.

Zurdo gets a laugh out of that. The three of them, armed, against Teresa? Well, isn’t she impressive.

It was a trick! She almost killed us!

Teresa shoots at their feet and says she doesn’t “almost” kill people. If she’s gonna kill them, she kills them.

Siso asks what she’s playing at, but he calls her an hija de p– again and we all know how much Zurdo likes that.

He’s ready to put an end to this. He tells Lencho to pull their pants down…and sure enough, the drugs are in the back of the truck.

Zurdo: “So, what did you say you were here for?”

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.