La Reina del Sur Thursday 6/6/19 #2.33

Previously: Siso and his cousins got killed. Willy thinks Manuela killed Padre Anselmo. Sofia fell into a pit.


Willy catches up to Jimena leaving her house and twists her arm to get a look at her nails. I guess the “ow” proves they’re real.

She refuses to tell him where she was before she got home and found the gun in her bag, but it’s too tempting. She was at her university. What’s going on?

She didn’t kill Padre Anselmo.

Willy drives off leaving Jimena standing there wondering how she’s supposed to react to being stalked by some weird DEA guy who nearly ripped her nail off and knows she didn’t kill anybody.


Lupo goes out looking for Sofia again. Time to pull out the big guns…oh, nope, those are staying in the high security closet. He grabs a machete, a flashlight, a life jacket, and fifty feet of rope. I mean, I don’t know if it’s fifty feet, but at least he knows to bring rope.

Sofia’s still in the pit, mumbling for Lupo and her mom.


Teresa has Sofia’s pictures in her wallet. She tells her to hold on, it won’t be long.


Lupo thinks Sofia’s in the water and he keeps scolding her about it being dark and dangerous. In the middle of his search, Epifanio calls and says he needs a video of Sofia right away.

Um…no can do. She escaped.

“She escaped the island? What is she, a fucking mermaid?”

Lupo says he’ll find her and get the video. He agrees to call Batman and get him to help.


Epifanio’s wondering what he’s going to do about Teresa now.


Lupo thinks he’s found Sofia, but it’s just debris in the lake.


Batman’s showing Sheila his pool table…when Lupo calls. As soon as Lupo says Sofia’s missing, Batman says he’ll be right over.

Sorry, Sheila. Tonight’s not the night. He offers her a ride somewhere, but he’s not leaving her in his house alone. He knows Teresa wants her to get information about where they’re keeping Sofia.

Sheila’s like “I thought we were serious! I like you! But you’re like every other man–you just want sex and then you forget you ever saw me.”

Batman says he does like her, but right now they’ve gotta go. He carries her to the front door as she yells that she’ll never set foot in this house again!


Alejandro hasn’t shown up at his suegra’s birthday party yet. One of Danilo’s cousins says Alejandro was supposed to show up last year too. It sounds like they all think he’s just Danilo’s boss.

Alejandro shows up with flowers for Celina.


Teresa calls Cayetana to tell her the Gallegos bugged her phone. The Gallegos came looking for her and unfortunately, they found her. Siso and his cousins are dead, just like everyone else who comes looking for her will be.

Teresa’s halfway out the door of her hotel room as she tells Cayetana it doesn’t matter if Paloma let it slip by accident or whatever. She’s just warning Cayetana not to mess with her or Teresa won’t respect Cayetana’s grey hair.

Rocio and Faustino are coming down the hallway and they kind of stop like they don’t want to hear this.

Cayetana accuses Teresa of kidnapping the girls.

Um, no, she just helped them when Cayetana refused to after the death of the torero.

The argument continues. Out in the hallway, Rocio tells Faustino Teresa’s talking to her grandmother.

Faustino says nobody can shut Teresa up.

“You don’t know my grandma.”

The call ends with Cayetana saying Teresa will hear from her soon.

Teresa tells Rocio the next time she talks to grandma, she’d better tell her Teresa’s not messing around.

Faustino asks how the thing went.

Siso and his cousins are dead.

Rocio’s surprised, but Faustino says that’s the least of it.

Teresa thanks him for all the info he gave her. She couldn’t have pulled this off without it. She doesn’t know how to repay him…

By giving him permission to court her stepdaughter. To be official novios.

“Excuse you! I’m not a kid!” She adds, “flipo” and I can’t figure out which verb tense that is, but she thinks somebody’s nuts.

Faustino asks if that’s Flipper’s cousin or what. Teresa laughs. He assumes that’s permission.

Sure. They can do whatever they want, as long as Rocio agrees. If he crosses the line he’ll have to answer to Teresa. She needs another favor, though–can he take Rocio to El Sumbarino?

He’ll take Rocio anywhere she wants to go…he’s just gotta use the bathroom first. Rocio goes to change.

Teresa continues down the hall to the elevator…and Epifanio’s inside. He couldn’t have sent the video on whatsapp or something?

Faustino’s coming out of the room and hears Teresa in the hallway arguing with Epifanio. Zurdo’s at the other end of the hallway. As soon as Faustino can get her attention, he points at Zurdo.

Teresa goes into a rant about how she’s always the one who gets screwed over and she doesn’t care about the years he spent in prison, because she’s spent the last twenty years running since he killed Güero. And she’s not the Teresa she was back then, ’cause he killed her when he killed Güero and yeah, he can get the hell out of here and ¡ch– tu madre!

Epifanio’s like “yeah…um…ok then.”

Teresa waits until he gets on the elevator and then sniffs dramatically for Zurdo’s benefit.

Zurdo comes over to the elevators and asks what she was doing talking to Epifanio.

Teresa acts all scared and says she has no idea what’s going on…she called the elevator and there he was! She doesn’t know if it was because of his campaign or if he’s staying there or what. And she doesn’t care. The minute he saw her, he started attacking her!

Yeah, Zurdo heard her telling him off.

Teresa doesn’t see how she’s ever going to be able to come back here if Epifanio’s president.

Zurdo tells her not to worry. He’s here with the answer to her question about their future together.

Teresa thinks they should celebrate with tequila at her bar tonight.  Once they’re on the elevator Faustino comes out of hiding and Rocio joins him at the elevator. They’re off to El Submarino.


Celina’s serving Alejandro a plate and telling him he shouldn’t have brought her a gift–it’s enough that he’s here. Danilo always talks about him and he’s convinced the whole family to vote Vargas.

Danilo’s sister says she totally follows Alejandro on Twitter, but he hasn’t followed her back. She’s crossing her fingers he will now, though.

Danilo’s cousin has been testing out the perfume Alejandro gave her aunt and starts flirting with him and asking if he has a girlfriend….

There’s a loud noise and everybody freaks out for a minute until one of the cousins comes out of the kitchen and says he was just opening the wine bottle.

Danilo’s all embarrassed that they don’t have wine glasses (wait…you’re supposed to have wine glasses to drink wine in?), but Alejandro says not to call him “licenciado,” they’re not at work! Everyone should all call him Alejandro. And whatever glass you can drink out of is fine. He gets Danilo to sit down and starts filling everybody’s plastic cups.


Sheila’s supervising the bar opening. She tells the servers to be careful with the handsome clients and even more careful with the ugly ones.

She tells Conejo if anyone flirts with her it’ll just be for free drinks.

Oh, Conejo will give ’em free drinks alright, out of a bottle of gin that’s mostly water. Sheila says Conejo’s her kind of peep.

Ahmed’s stressing over the cash register and counting all the change and griping at Sheila for interrupting his count.

Paloma doesn’t like her dress. She thinks her belly is showing and she looks terrible.

Sheila says she’s twenty. No one looks terrible at twenty. She reminds Paloma the only one who’s allowed to touch her is I can’t make out who, and only if she consents. If anyone crosses a line, tell security.

Ray and Oleg come in and Ray’s digging Paloma’s outfit. He tells her he’ll be watching her on the cameras, anybody comes near her and….

Oleg cuts him off. That’s what security is for and he doesn’t want Ray seen in the club. He heads for the security room and Ray stops to smooch Paloma.

Sheila says they’d better do it while they can. She reminds everybody there’s a plan here and they have to look like a legit bar! Why is Paloma wearing flats? She’d better get her heels on and practice walking in them!

Sheila laments that they look like a trashy gang.


In the SUV, Teresa asks Zurdo if he’s agreeing to a 50/50 split. He’d rather go 70/30 and they sign paperwork tonight.

Teresa’s obviously not going to go for 30, but Zurdo adds that he’ll purchase all the drugs and and supplies and cover any seizures….

*snort* There are no “seizures” when she moves drugs and she takes care of the cargo and the transport.

He’s like “you’re naïve–there’s always merma” (losses). How does she not just kill this loser already?

OK, maybe he’s just not understanding what she’s offering…what would he expect to make in Europe annually? Just throw out a number…

He says he’s not good at numbers.

33 million euros. $40 mil millones ($40,000,000,000) and that’s just Western Europe. Because Russia is a whole other thing. How does he like those apples?


Danilo’s sister and cousin are flirting with Alejandro. His sister always thought he’d be more…fresa.

Danilo’s cousins are joking that Alejandro’s been checking Danilo out.

Celina tries to get the girls away from Alejandro…and suddenly, there were mariachis! Courtesy of Alejandro. Everybody hugs him. He ignores his ringing phone.


Zurdo’s guys come in to check out the club. Conejo tries to flirt with Lencho, but he’s being all serious.

When Teresa and Zurdo come in, Sheila escorts them to their table and goes to get a bottle of the best tequila. Teresa calls Paloma over and introduces her as another friend and Rocio’s sister. Paloma just stands there while Teresa says she told Faustino to bring Rocio, and they shouldn’t be much longer.

Teresa tells Paloma she can go. She gets back to talking business. She’ll pay for any losses. He’s not interested in Europe, but she’s not interested in the US. Anything he makes from outside this hemisphere, she gets the 70% and he gets the 30%.

He won’t go for it. He’s walking away when Sheila comes back with the tequila and says Teresa can be tough. Teresa agrees. She asks him to sit down and hear the rest of her proposal.


At Danilo’s house, they’ve moved on to Volver, Volver. Alejandro’s doing his damndest to act like he’s enjoying the party, but his phone keeps buzzing. He asks Danilo’s sister where he can take a phone call and she walks him to a room upstairs. (Danger, Alejandro! Danger!)

Seriously, Epifanio is the most incompetent…did he just get bored and think “Oh, hey, now that we’ve lost the kid and I nearly screwed everything up at the hotel, I should call Alejandro.”

All Alejandro has to say is that she can’t escape the island.


Batman arrives, hoping Lupo already found Sofia, but nope. Batman’s sure she’s just playing with them.

Lupo doesn’t think so. They decide to circle the island in different directions and meet up on the other side.

In the pit, Sofia wakes up suddenly.


Epifanio complains to Alejandro that Sofia knows about him and Teresa’s demanding a video and he wants to kill Sofia off. And what’s that noise? Where is he?

Um…friends from college came over. Gringos like mariachi. Like he said, a little girl can’t escape an island. He’ll take care of this. He’ll tell Lupo to shorten her leash.

Epifanio starts babbling about proposing to Genoveva in front of their dad and once he’s president, Antonio will have to come over to beg Epifanio to sign off on his budgets. He doesn’t think Alejandro’s listening anymore, so he says he’ll see him at the office tomorrow.

Danilo comes upstairs. Alejandro’s actually in his old room that his mom hasn’t changed.

How did he explain to his family all the pictures of guys all over his wall?

Well, he wanted to be a singer, he wanted to be a swimmer….

Alejandro picks on him for liking Manu.

Didn’t everyone?

Alejandro throws out some other names and then says he likes Danilo. Cue the smoochies.

Danilo’s cousin sneaks up the stairs and gets a few pictures of them kissing. Some cousin he is!

Alejandro motions to Danilo to shut the door. It’s getting serious now.


Sheldon explains to someone that Willy hasn’t stopped investigating. He’s talked to Epifanio’s family and he’s seen some surveillance video he wasn’t supposed to see. He needs agent Kira (and that’s Kee-rah, not Kai-ra) to go stop him. Kira being Manuela. I’m gonna need a really good reason for the code name.

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.