El Gran Final de Apocalipsis Friday 12/27/19 #88

Debora’s disappointed when she finds out Ricardo killed Alan. He tells her to chill, there are plenty more men out there. Younger, more virile ones.

“Maybe you’re right.”

Ricardo says he’s always right.

Isabela starts complaining now. Alan was faithful to him. He had the Mark.

Ricardo gets a laugh out of that. It doesn’t matter if he kills someone with the Mark, he’s already got their soul. Is she afraid of him?

Isabela says she’s not. She loves him. It’s just that he can’t imagine how much. She could die for him.

Cool. Do it.

Uh, what?

He tells her to kill herself with the dagger. In the manner in which that dagger is often used for ritual suicides. Because of course, the Spawn of Satan would be a fan of cultural appropriation. Isabela stabs herself, Ricardo stabs her and kicks her down the stairs.

“See you in Hell.”

Arthur reports from New Babylon that the six captured rebels were “freed” today. Ricardo had offered to trade them for Benjamin Gudman, but as he declined and they declined the Mark, there was nothing to do but apply the death penalty.

Of course, it was a lie. There was no offer. Zoe tells them at least they didn’t accept the mark, like so many others did. So now they’re with Jesus.

Not everyone looks comforted.

Zoe says Ricardo’s going to lose. She grabs the bible and starts reading about angels spilling the “cups of ire” of God.

First up, boils for everyone with the Mark. (Ableism.) That includes Ricardo.

Then water turned to blood. Darkness falling over the land. The Euphrates evaporating. An earthquake.

The next time we see Debora and Ricardo, their skin has cleared up. Ricardo’s probably regretting having killed everyone else who might have been sitting at the table with them and would have cut into Debora’s talking time. Ricardo tells her to eat more and talk less. She’s complaining that the city should have been immune to the rebels’ “dark magic” and he needs to do something!

So he grabs the knife out of the roast chicken and stabs her with it. He told her (te mandé) to shut up and now he’s sending her ( te mandé) to Hell.

Months later

New Babylon’s in even more of a wreck than it was earlier.

Ricardo and Stefano have eyes on the rebel camp. Ricardo’s big plan is to force all the rebels into one place and then seduce them all so “He” won’t have anyone left to save.

Three years later

Seriously, get to it. This has dragged on long enough.

Zoe and Natalia are talking about the people they lost. And some still don’t believe. Natalia’s sure God is going to save them.

This is Ricardo’s last push to either kill or Mark the remaining rebels. A storm starts gathering over New Babylon just after he and Stefano have left in a helicopter. In the control room at Gudman, Dudú badgers Guido to get them a helicopter too, not that Guido thinks anyone’s going to fly in this.

In Ricardo’s office, Ariela, Arthur, and Glaucia see a bright light…Arthur and Glaucia realize what’s happening first and make a run for it. Ariela stays and gets incinerated.

Guido couldn’t get a helicopter but he tells everyone to get out. And then he tells Dudú it’s not going to do any good.

Ricardo gets orders from Satan and passes them on to everyone else. If they won’t get Marked, kill them all. (We’ve been over this several times. Damn, Satan’s a micromanager!)

Everyone in the desert camp at Megiddo is already dying of hunger. Gideon, Tamar, and Marta are all gone, but Osiel’s hanging in there. He’s kind of glad Marta’s already gone, because she wouldn’t have been able to handle this.

Brenda’s dead too, and she was young. She fought to the end and even when she was dying, she still helped.

César says Tiao and his sons ended up in the desert and they didn’t make it. They were still faithful.

Natalia’s been checking around and everyone’s out of water and food.

Zoe starts crying, saying David and Osiel are going to die if they don’t get food!

Osiel tells her not to worry about him–they should focus on keeping the kid fed.

David asks for food and water, but Zoe says she doesn’t have either. Benjamin and César decide to go out and see what they can find. Maybe a rat…or a bird….

“Dates,” Natalia adds. Benjamin says God will help them.

Osiel’s got pains. Everyone’s hovering over him when the soldiers arrive. They brought César and Benjamin back with them. Osiel’s starting to cough, but he keeps telling the others not to worry about him.

Wow. There were a lot more rebels out there than I realized. Ricardo’s feeling pretty good about his chances, though.

Zoe notices Ricardo approaching. Saulo says this must mean they’re near the end. Noah prays for Jesus’ protection.

Ricardo wants to start right off with Benjamin and Zoe. And David. Ricardo has food and water and keeps offering it to David, which of course the kid’s going to want, but you can’t tell me that would count as “accepting” Ricardo. What happened to people having to choose to get the Mark? Zoe keeps holding David back and knocks over the tray of food.

Ok, then. He’ll kill Benjamin and Zoe first and maybe after that David will accept the Mark.

Oh, my frickin’ deity, he brought the damn sword! Cultural appropriation with some major feelings of inadequacy on the side!

Ricardo’s about to cut Benjamin’s head off when a trumpet sounds and a pink light from heaven knocks Ricardo and Stefano over. Ricardo’s lying there on the ground with his eyes rolling around in panic. Heh!

More trumpets and some harp and yes, that is definitely a pink light and angels in the clouds. The refugees are feeling heartened, for sure, but Ricardo and Stefano…aw, what a shame, angelic disco energy isn’t good for them. The demon dust crawls out of Ricardo. Some of the soldiers get freaked out and try to leave, but they’re surrounded by angels.

The demon dust can’t seem to do anything to the four glowing people standing on top of the hill. One of them is apparently Jesus. He tells the refugees to come join the party.

The demon dust just stands there, watching large groups of refugees disappear.

A couple of angels come down, chain Ricardo and Stefano and toss them down the conveniently opened pit. And Ricardo remembers this from way back when he had a vision, so I guess he’s feeling really stupid right now that he went to all this trouble for nothing.

Jesus kills the soldiers with his breath and another angel puts Satan in chains. And then he got trapped in the pit so he couldn’t mess with people until the end of the millennium.

Meanwhile, all the Marked are burning in hell, which is a downright cheerful way to end a show.

Except now these people are appearing in front of the throne, which makes it sound like the Mark wasn’t a one-way ticket after all? But no, they end up getting tossed in the lake of fire. With Satan.

Our heroes get to go to New Jerusalem. And they get crowns.

Because it’s the point of the whole show, Benjamin says they fought the battle and kept the faith. “And what about you?”


Thank you to Mr. 5ft for laughing at all of my jokes and to Ian Walter from The Afro-Brazilian Affair for challenging me to recap this show. Thank you also to everyone who’s been reading along and hasn’t sent me hate mail.

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Author: 5ftLatina

Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.

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Ian Walter
Ian Walter
7 months ago

Thank you so much for these well-done recaps. A good writer, recapping a good-ish show being shown on a shitty network tots deserves accolades! Meanwhile, I have wanted to ask you what is your opinion is on Record’s special effects during the entire armageddon? Also, I feel like the demon dust could have been creepier… I was really intrigued by the ruggedness and the portrayal of the desert scene when our devouts trusted in the Almighty’s hand. The transition of Ricardo going still as Jesus and his angels descended was all too timely, and so perfectly done, I was just… Read more »