El Sultán Wednesday 12/11/19 #8

Hürrem dictates a love letter for Suleyman to Nigar Kalfa.

Sultana Ayşe summons Hürrem to the garden to pick some roses and invite her to dinner. It’s actually a cover so some guy can get a look at her and Ayşe can get her married off before Suleyman gets home.

Hürrem refuses to leave and tells Ayşe she’s pregnant. Ayşe wants her examined by the doctor, but in secret. And now they’ve gotta stall the prospective novio.

The doctor examines Hürrem and declares her pregnant. Like, for realz. Try not to look so shocked, Hürrem.

When Daye delivers the news to Sultana Ayşe and Mahidevran, Mahidevran faints.

Oh yeah, and the war…Suleyman gets advice from a couple of Beys to attack Belgrade rather than Buda, because that cuts off Hungary. And tonight in Belgrade some guy’s getting married so everyone will be drunk, so that’s a good time to attack. And what luck, the king is the guest of honor at the wedding.

Suleyman gets to try out his new gigantic cannons that are so very, very phallic. When the wedding guests realize they’re getting attacked, everyone tries to flee via claustrophobic tunnels. The king gets away, but Suleyman kills the novio (who was about to kill Ibrahim for not paying attention) and pays a little too much attention to the novia-turned-viuda.

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Kat is 5ftLatina. She is really 5' tall (and probably shrinking) and Latina. She is not actually a cactus, but she is both prickly and cute. Mr. 5ft is actually married to Kat, but is not 5' tall or Latina. He is also not a form of plant life.